Football Page 821 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deshaun Watson Is Extremely Fun And Seemingly Untouchable<em></em>

For the second straight week, Texans QB Deshaun Watson tied the NFL rookie record by being responsible for five touchdowns. Even though Houston lost to the Chiefs, 42-34, and some of Watson’s scoring came in garbage time, the QB still looked a hell of a lot better than Tom Savage. ...

Leonard Fournette Wasn't Afraid Of The Steelers

Jags rookie running back Leonard Fournette finished yesterday’s win against the Steelers with 181 rushing yards on 28 carries. Those look like stats belonging to a running back who dominated the whole game, but that’s not quite what happened. Instead, Fournette gave the Steelers three quarters of ho...

Jerry Jones Says Any Cowboy Seen "Disrespecting The Flag" Will Not Play

Jerry Jones—the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, the inventor of the bullshit but diabolically ingenious national anthem protest rebranding scheme, and the odds-on favorite to portray Dobby the House Elf’s great-grandfather in any future Harry Potter sequels—is done pretending. No longer does he feel th...

Jaguars Junction: Week Five

Something quite remarkable happened in Pennsylvania yesterday....

Useless Prop Mike Pence Attempts To Explain Taxpayer-Funded PR Stunt<em></em>

Mike Pence tried to be a big strong boy yesterday, walking out of the 49ers-Colts game because a handful of 49ers players knelt during the national anthem, as they have been doing all season. Almost immediately, it was revealed that Pence had planned the stunt well in advance, and thus had taken a p...

Donald Penn Gets Into It With An Abusive Fan

The Raiders, without Derek Carr, dropped a 30-17 game against the scuffling Ravens that wasn’t even quite as close as the score would suggest. Everyone’s frustrated, as what was supposed to be a team capable of making a deep postseason run is now just 2-3. But here’s where I’d like to remind everyon...

Video Appears To Show Dolphins O-Line Coach Chris Foerster Snorting Lines [Update]

The man in this video, who talks about how wild it is that he’s snorting something that looks like coke before a meeting, looks a hell of a lot like Miami Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster. (The Miami Herald’s Armando Salguero spoke to someone he described as “a club source” who says it i...

Aaron Rodgers Does It Again In Dallas

A pair of missed extra points from Mason Crosby looked like they could be the difference in a Green Bay loss today, but instead, they simply set the stage for yet another signature Aaron Rodgers comeback at Cowboys Stadium, and Green Bay won 35-31....

Ben Roethlisberger Threw Five Picks Against The Jaguars

The 3-2 Jaguars have already matched their win total from all of last season, after humiliating Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers today. Big Ben had an abysmal game against Jacksonville’s defense as he threw five picks for the first time ever in a 30-9 loss. Here are four of them....

Odell Beckham Jr. Carted Off Field After Painful-Looking Leg Injury [Updates]

Giants superstar wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. suffered what looked like a nasty left leg injury late in today’s game against the Chargers. He was carted off the field in visible anguish....

Leonard Fournette Flies Over The Pile From The Four-Yard Line

Faced with the prospect of needing to run through the Steelers’ defense right near the goal line, Jaguars rookie running back Leonard Fournette decided to take the path of least resistance. Instead of taking a pounding from Pittsburgh’s linemen, Fournette flew over them, easily clearing a pileup wit...

The Eagles Pulled Off A Ridiculously Elaborate Baseball-Themed TD Celebration

Famous South Jersey native and baseball player Mike Trout is at the Eagles game today, so the team’s offense performed an impressively elaborate baseball celebration to honor him (and possibly recruit him for the Phillies, who knows)....

The Chargers Gave The Giants Two Points

Safeties are one of the most exciting plays in football. That might sound weird, since they’re only worth two points, don’t decide games very often, if ever, but they’re fun! Also, the safety is the only play in football where players celebrate by impersonating the referee....

Fragile Stooge Mike Pence Walks Out Of 49ers-Colts Because Of Anthem Demonstration [Updates]

Mike Pence, a cauliflower that was once victimized by the movie Mulan, claimed that he walked out of today’s 49ers-Colts game, because the players supposedly disrespected the troops during the rote nationalistic pre-game ceremony. While the Colts stood arm-in-arm during the anthem, a reported 23 mem...

Myles Garrett Gets A Sack On His First NFL Play

First overall pick Myles Garrett had to miss the start of the season with an ankle sprain, but in his first career NFL appearance, he quickly made up for lost time, rushing through some awful blocking to get a sack on his very first NFL snap....

For A Marginally Improved Outlook: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL

Today’s counterprogramming schedule is light on sports, with club soccer taking a break this weekend, but the NBA preseason is ramping up, there’s playoff baseball, a Star Wars marathon, a fair amount of pre-Halloween programming, and, hey, Blade Runner 2049 is really, really, really fucking good. T...

We're Still Trying To Figure This One Out

At Slapfight, Actual Slap

Sad-Sack Airport Bozos Want To Protest Super Bowl Flights Because Of Anthem Protests

Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet....

Oklahoma Upset By 31-Point Underdog Iowa State 

Baker Mayfield and the third-ranked Oklahoma Sooners were upset this afternoon by unranked Iowa State, a 31-point underdog, after the Cyclones outscored the Sooners 25-7 in the second half....