For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...

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9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m, TNT: Rocky I - IV. You've already missed a good bit of it, but I'm sure you have your reasons. I think watching Rocky beat up Mr. T is a tremendous hangover cure, though.
12:00 - God Knows When, ESPN: Today at Churchill Downs. The longest pre-game shows in sports: The Super Bowl, and horsey racing.
1:00, ESPN: NFL Europe. Rhein Fire @ Frankfurt Galaxy. If I owned the Galaxy, I'd change the their nickname to the "Ers" and our mascot would be a big hot dog with Harry Caray's face on it, and he would constantly try to eat himself.
1:00, TBS: MLB. Atlanta Braves @ New York Mets. TBS would be great if they didn't show the Braves so damn much.
2:00, ESPN2: LPGA Golf. Franklin American Mortgage Championship, 3rd Round. Hey, remember when ESPN2 first launched, and it was supposed to be for more action/extreme sports? They seem to have taken a little detour on that.
2:00, NBC: NHL Playoffs. New Jersey Devils @ Carolina Hurricanes. Some would argue that hurricanes are actually the work of the devil. Discuss amongst yourselves.
3:00, CBS: PGA Golf. Wachovia Championship. I like saying Wachovia. Sadly, John Daly has withdrawn from the tournament. Maybe Bo Van Pelt will win this tournament and develop a huge gambling problem, though.
4:00, ESPN2: MLS. Los Angeles Galaxy @ New England Revolution. I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but I heard that Brother Derek and Victor Conte are very close friends.
4:00, OLN: Arena Football. Dallas Desperados @ Philadelphia Soul. Deeesperados. Why don't you come to your senses? You been out riding that padded wall along the sideline for so long now...
5:00, NBC: Horse Racing. Kentucky Derby. This year, they're using robotic horses.
7:00, ESPN2: College Volleyball: NCAA Tournament Final. If I told you that women's volleyball shorts didn't do something for me, it would be a lie. Edit: I'm told this is men's volleyball, which has me somewhat less excited.
8:00, TNT: NBA Playoffs. Los Angeles Lakers @ Phoenix Suns. Thankfully, someone had the courtesy to go to a Game 7.