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Happy Easter to everyone, by the way, if you're someone who celebrates. If you don't, just to fill you in real quick, Easter is a religious celebration of the death and subsequent resurrection of the Easter Bunny, who was killed by drunk driver who had just left a karaoke bar in a small town in Indiana. At least, that's what I was taught in Sunday School. Of course, I attented Sunday School in a Vietnamese whorehouse, so you may have learned something different. But enjoy the day... here's your Sunday afternoon TV sports schedule.

1:00, ESPN2. Tennis: Family Circle Cup Final. It's a star-studded battle between Patty Schnyder, wife of the maintenance man on One Day at a Time, and Nadia Petrova.
1:00, ABC. NBA: Chicago Bulls @ Miami Heat. The Bulls need the win as bad as you need a shower.
1:00, NBC. Arena Football: Colorado Crush @ Kansas City Brigade. You may get regional coverage, which is more likely to get you coverge of the Arena team you really care about.
2:00, WGN. MLB: Toronto Blue Jays @ Chicago White Sox. Josh Towers vs. Freddy Garcia.
3:00, CBS. Golf: Final Round, Verizon Heritage. Jim Furyk and Aaron Baddeley are tied for the lead. It's the classic battle between the guy with the weird swing and the young Australian in the tight shirt.
3:00, ESPN. College Bowling: NCAA Women's College Bowling Championship. This event being on TV has to really help out the recruiting departments of these bowling programs.
3:00, ESPN2. Curling: Ford World Men's Championship. You know, just in case you can't handle the fast-paced world of bowling.
3:30, ABC. NBA: Phoenix Suns @ LA Lakers. Steve Nash is an MVP candidate, and Raja Bell did a pretty nice job on Kobe last time they played. And sadly, you won't be seeing either of them today.