How Blake Bortles Spent Irma

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

Go ahead and picture it...

Blake Bortles, back at home in Jacksonville after a big Week 1 win. Feeling pretty good, but hunkering down as Hurricane Irma rolls through Northeast Florida. Most of its worst fury has been spent since it came ashore the day before, but it’s still a mean one.

The lights flicker, but the power stays on. Suddenly—the movie Bortles is watching freezes. Netflix is down? He tries to reload; nothing. He tries to go to Hulu. His wifi is down. The storm has knocked out his internet.


He pokes around a bit. Makes a sandwich. Sips a beer. The rain and wind are really lashing his windows. Don’t wanna go out in that. Maybe he could? No, Lemon Bar is probably closed anyway.

He’s bored.

He looks around. He’s got weights, but isn’t feeling it. A book? Eh.

He’s really bored.

The dartboard! Not a bad way to pass a few minutes. Maybe the internet will be back by then. Bortles strides down to his rec room, and scoops up three darts. He closes one eye and aims carefully.


Goes wide. Hits the drywall.

Aims the second. Short-arms it. Dart thunks onto the floor.

Aims the third. Way high, a foot from the board.

He’d been meaning to patch up that drywall anyway.

Turns to go upstairs, but no. Something stops him. It’s bad luck to leave on a miss. I’ll just nail a throw and then go see about the wifi. Collects the darts and throws again.

Three misses, worse than before.

That’s annoying. But can’t leave till he hits one. Just one.

Just one...