In the depths of kayfabe, there's really no difference between a suplex, a top-rop dive, or a steel chair—every move, hold, and stunt is just a means to the dramatic end. You can't quantify a comeback or a domination when the comeback is part of the script. But: Who really cares? Here's your Wrestlemania XXX box score.
Over the course of Wrestlemania, I kept track of everything that happened with some basic statistics (that we made up). I recorded DDTs, clotheslines, entrance lengths, essentially anything that made sense, and accumulated them in the spreadsheet below. The idea being that even in fake competition, numbers could bring something to light.
A few takeaways:
- Daniel Bryan recorded 11 submission holds during his match with Triple H, showing that even when he was getting his ass kicked, the American Dragon stayed plenty active.
- No surprise here: The Undertaker had by far the longest entrance, at just over seven minutes. Triple H and Bray Watt came in at 4:11 and 4:10, respectively.
- However, a creaky Undertaker showed his age by relying on the turnbuckle—his six turnbuckle-based moves lapped the field.
- John Cena kicked out of the most pins—including one out of a finisher—of anyone at Wrestlemania this year.
- Each wrestler with the shortest entrance ended up winning their match.
We're going to see how we can improve these going forward (timestamps is the next step), but let us know in the comments what else you'd like to see us track.
Luke Winkie is a writer and former pizza maker from the hills of San Diego. He now lives in Austin and writes for Red Bull, Myspace, Paste, and The Village Voice.