Whoa, hey look at that … it’s a Foodspin TV show. That’s right, folks: Albert Burneko and I and the crack Deadspin video team have made our very own food porn, in which we go across the country to watch master chefs cook their signature dishes, then try to cook our own versions of those dishes and fuck it all up. And yes, I wear a dumb shirt the whole time.

This week, we’re in Staten Island at Enoteca Maria, the fabled Italian restaurant that brings in grandmas (“nonnas”) from all over the world to have them cook every night. That’s where Albert and I learned to cook Sri Lankan seafood curry. (I know that’s not Italian … roll with it.) Want to make some yourself? Here’s the recipe for our version:

Sri Lankan seafood curry

1 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 pound scallops

1 tomato, chopped

1 red onion, chopped

2 teaspoons Sri Lankan Chili powder

½ teaspoon turmeric

½ teaspoon fenugreek seeds

2 green chiles, sliced

1 cinnamon stick

½ cup water

Handful of curry leaves

1 cup coconut milk



  • Soak the shrimp and scallops in a bowl filled with water, salt and turmeric. Set aside.
  • Heat the oil in a skillet. Toast the fenugreek seeds and cinnamon for a minute, and then add the onion and garlic. Once those are soft, add the chiles, curry powder, and curry leaves and stir them around for another minute or two. Add the tomato and let everything meld together. Then toss in the coconut milk, and water. Let it reduce down to a nice thick sauce, then take the shrimp and scallops out of the turmeric wash and put them in. Remove the cinnamon stick. The shellfish should cook through quickly, in a couple of minutes. Serve over rice or noodles.
  • Enjoy, motherfucker!