Every year my mom watches the National Dog Show. I’m pretty sure she has two motivations for doing this: The dogs are cute, and my dad and I won’t bother her during it. This makes her the perfect kind of expert for Deadspin readers—experienced and willing to speak her mind—so I asked her to predict who will win each bread this year. These are her predictions, given in no particular order.
Dandie Dinmont Terrier because he kinda looks like a teddy bear.
Pomeranians because they have a lot of fur and they look like toys.
Alaskan Malamute because it looks like he can keep everyone warm in the winter.
Golden Retriever because he’s a nice color and he’s children friendly. That’s what I learned from your Aunt June and Uncle Donald. (They’re big golden retriever fans).
Basset Hound because he’s cute. Also, when I was growing up they had Hush Puppy shoes and a basset hound was on the box.
Lhasa Apso because it’s a common answer in crossword puzzles.
Rough collie because he looks likes Lassie.
As for dog show watching advice, my mom says: “Just watch it and enjoy it because it’s not something you get to see very often. Also, they should have a national cat show.”
If you disagree with any of this, please feel free to express yourself in the comments section, which my mom will not be reading.