Burneko: hollis thompson looks like he's at the midpoint between laughing at the sixers roster and the dawning realization that it's not a prank

Burneko: that's exactly the face he's making

marchman: JaKarr Sampson is carrying so many drugs for Noel and he's worried he's going to have to eat them all

Burneko: like he's about to say, "wait, are you for real?"

kyle: what the fuck, the sixers are too cheap to even let mbah a moute keep the "richard" in his name?

Burneko: "sorry luc, too many letters"

kyle: "sorry luc, gotta shave some character cap space"

Burneko: "there's only so much room on our geocities page for player names, luc"

harvilla: alexey shved won this season of 'hip show' and this was the prize

Burneko: "OK, this is cool, but what's your return policy?"

marchman: Maybe this is an NBA 2K15 marketing scheme. "We know we've gotten a lot of bad publicity with our face-scanning feature, but look how well it works when it works!"

Burneko: also, what the hell is going on with "ronald" "roberts"'s neck?

Burneko: Tom Cruise inside Ronald Roberts hoping they reveal the location of the nukes before his face melts

marchman: "Jerami Grant is studying biology at Temple, but with NBA 2K15, he's right there with real NBA players like Michael Carter-Williams!"

Burneko: TNT gonna use the Twitter egg avatar for these guys in pregame introductions. "it doesn't matter what they look like"

kyle: heinke traded the rest of chris johnson's teeth for a second round pick

Samer: buzzfeed's about to go back to koko and show her this roster

Samer: then take a photo of her face