Da'Shawn Hand is the No. 1 ranked high school football player in the country, and he recently sat down with CBS Sports' Bruce Feldman to talk about what life as the prize of the Division I recruiting circuit has been like. It sounds like he's been meeting some pretty dumb people.

Feldman asked Hand to talk about the craziest thing that has happened to him since being named the nation's top recruit, which led to this amazing answer:

Well, I ain't gonna say any names, but one coach told me that since I'm the No. 1 player, I'm gonna get to meet Michael Jackson. I said, "Isn't he already dead?" The coach goes, "Well, all right, you can meet Tito." I was like, all right. OK, I'm done.

It was crazy, but it is what it is.

Oh god, I desperately want to know who that coach is. I suppose it would be futile to try and guess, though, because it could have been just about any Division I coach. I really can't think of another anecdote that better exemplifies what isolated maniacs college football coaches are. This is the kind of out-of-touch existence that a person who has been locked in a film room since 1988 is doomed to lead.

[CBS via Last Angry Fan]