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Deadspin's own A.J. Daulerio is in Detroit, trying to find things to do. He files this report; check out all his reports right here.

With Detroit spinning from all of the Super Bowl spazzing this week, there are plenty of news broadcasts trying to find the local angle: Dearborn Steelers' fans with dogs dressed in Bettis jerseys, Port Huron grandmothers knitting Seattle Seahawks caps, game predictions from Carver Elementary School children, Terrible Towels found at Jimmy John s, etc. However, one local angle I could not ignore. It features three of my favorite things: Football, salami and Polish people (not necessarily in that order).

Meet Joe Ilowski., proprietor of Ilowski Sausage Company in East China, Mic. In commemoration of the Super Bowl, he has made football-shaped salamis. Yes, he has. The full psychiatric interrogation after the jump.

(Oh, and to remind you, all your Roethlisberger drunk picture-related goodies can be found here and here.)


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Joe Ilowski was trying to think of someway to capitalize on the Super Bowl. He has a lovely sausage store ... but lots of people have sausage stores. He had to do something different.

So Joe decided that he would try to make some football-shaped salamis. He found a sausage-case maker who could give him the casings — replete with laces, seams, and all — and he went to work. For the past three weeks, Joe has been stuffing salami meat into football-shaped casings in anticipation of the Super Bowl rush.


It has worked so far. Most of the Farmer Jack's (a Michigan supermarket-type place) have already sold out of salami footballs. There are two sizes of salami footballs: a 1 1/4 pounder, which costs $10, and a two-pound one at $14.

"I tried to make a life-size NFL one, but they kept falling apart on me," Ilowski said. He insists he's still trying to complete one, which will weigh about seven pounds. He has tried to throw the salamis. No spiral, yet, but he insists it's possible. "I just can't throw them that well. But I'm sure other people can."


Joe was absolutely delighted that I called him. In fact, he invited me to his store tomorrow to film him creating salamis. Who wouldn't want to do that? I will be there, and he has also promised me a couple of salamis to take with me. I plan on them accompanying me for the rest of my adventures this week. Football salamis at the Jenna Jameson party? Football salami three-on-three at the homeless shelter? Perhaps a filmed salami football toss with Mitch Albom? The possibilities are infinite.

And ... guess what?! You too can have football salamis overnighted to you before your Super Bowl party. Just e-mail Salami Joe at
jjilowski at netzero dot com.