Matt Leinart Is Ready For His Closeup

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The Grove mall, Los Angeles.

Matt Leinart: Yo, Tom, what's up, it's Matt.
Tom Condon, CAA: Matt! My negro! Arizona, baby! Who loves Arizona? Woo!
Leinart: Yeah, about that ... I was talking to Jimmy Kimmel last night, and he says the Cardinals aren't very good.
Condon: Naw, baby, they're like the Clips! You're a Clip, dawg!
Leinart: Anyway, some lady just showed up here. I'm supposed to walk into the mall past the cameras across the street? Is that how this works?
Condon: Yeah, she's just a paid escort. Name is "Paris," heh. They all use fake names.
Leinart: And why are we doing this again?
Condon: It's publicity, baby! Arizona is dead, dawg, dead dead dead. We gotta get you back in the world, baby, get people talking about Matt. Matt F—-ing Leinart. Who's Matt Leinart? YOU'RE Matt Leinart, bitch, YOU'RE Matt Leinart.
Leinart: Hang on a sec. (muffled sounds) Shit, Tom, she's making me carry her dog.
Condon: Hey, you get what you pay for, Matt.
Leinart: I'm gonna get some oral sex out of this at least, right?
Condon: Totally, dawg, totally. Remember, the cameras are on the south side of the street. Make sure they get your right side.

Playing The Field With Paris [ohnotheydidnt]