As we all know, Arizona has strict laws against hurling toiletries. But one overzealous baseball fan openly challenged authority on Monday and paid the price. The poor dope was hauled to the pokey for chucking a tube of Crest Anticavity Flouride Toothpaste at Barry Bonds during a game with the Diamondbacks; a notion we would find funnier if we weren't also thinking: "Wha ..?" We're beginning to wonder when this senseless violence will end. Today it's toothpaste, tomorrow it might be a Water Pik. We can only imagine what terror went through Bonds' mind during the incident: We can only pray to God the tiny missile was "whitening formula."
Wait, update! The Associated Press is reporting that the assailant was Mark Greggersen, of Show Low, Ariz., and the object thrown onto the field may have been a tube of muscle pain reliever — possibly Ultram, or Norflex, the report is not clear. Greggersen's mother, Karen, told AP that her son has disliked Bonds since the slugger "was a total jerk" to him when he stood in line to get an autograph "10 to 15 years ago." Greggerson evidently had been planning the act of civil disobediance for several days, and his mother had tried to talk him out of it ... can't go on ... fits of laughter ... Greggerson was taken to the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office and booked into jail Monday night. Wait, isn't that the one run by Joe Arpaio, the nutty constable who makes inmates dress in pink and eat baloney sandwiches? (Yes, it is.)
Man, it's just hard to believe the season is only two weeks old.
(UPDATE: By the way, we have Greggerson's mugshot, after the jump.)