Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore

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As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo.

A 19-year-old Mario Lemieux poses with several flightless birds and some sort of distressed animal on his head for SI's 1984 NHL preview issue. From E.M. Swift's story: "Taking a pass in the slot, the 6'4", 200-pound Lemieux, who turned 19 on Oct. 5, tapped the puck through an on-rushing defenseman's skates, sidestepped deftly, then swept up the puck and shot it past the glove hand of startled goalie Michel Dion. The arena went bonkers—'Our savior has arrived!' screamed one fan—and for minutes the crowd buzzed as if witness to a miracle—a penguin taking flight, say."

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