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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Quail 1, America 0

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

Open season on Dick Cheney, Day 2. Come on, despite your protests, you know deep down that you're craving more Dick-Cheney-shot-his-hunting-buddy-in-the-face news. You secretly crave tidbits such as: Almost to the day, on Feb. 13, 1971, Vice President Spiro Agnew hit three balls into the gallery during a golf tournament, even hitting the same person twice. You want to see political cartoons such as this. And the official Texas Fish and Wildlife hunting accident report. And David Letterman's Top Ten list of Dick Cheney excuses (No. 4: "I thought the guy was trying to go gay cowboy on me.") And you want to see fake news reports like this.


What a lot of people are objecting to, however, is not so much the fact that Cheney mistook an attorney in an orange vest for a small game bird. It's that the incident occurred during a stock hunt — in other words, Cheney was stalking quail that had been raised in captivity and released from a net moments before the hunting party came upon them. Or, as Ed Helms of The Daily Show described it:

Cheney slowly approaches in his SUV, gets out, and trains his 28-gauge shotgun on the slow-moving birds which are three feet away — and then, the hunt is on. These are pen-raised, witless quail with no wings; quite a challenge for the Vice President.


That, say many, is bad form, and perhaps even a metaphor for previous actions of the administration. (If you're into the whole "politics" thing.) And it gives us an excuse, as suggested by a commenter, to run a picture from "Duck Hunt."

Oh, by the way, just because we've decided to ruin your work day, here's where you can play "Duck Hunt" all day. Look out for lawyers, and enjoy the ride.

Cheney's Shot a Real Metaphor [Real History Blog]
Ready, Fire, Aim! [The Daily Show With Jon Stewart]
Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses [Late Show With David Letterman]
Official Texas Fish and Wildlife Hunting Accident and Incident Report [The Smoking Gun]
Duck Hunt [Flash Games]

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