Deadspin NFL Kickoff

Your First Game Of The NFL Regular Season Open Thread

Carl Everett Was Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting A Member Of His Family

Pig Poops On Own Balls (Photo NSFW Because Pig Is Pooping On Its Own Giant Balls)

This Evening: The Guy In The Blue Shirt Behind Brooklyn Decker Would Like You To Know He Plays With Himself

Semi-Cryptic NFL Wagering Advice From A Committed Gambler

Fox Sports Canceled The Show That Made Fun Of USC's Asian Students

Andy Roddick Totally Flipped Out Over The Court Still Being Wet At The U.S. Open (Video)

Trolling NFL Players On Twitter: A Gallery

Oscar De La Hoya Wore A Full-Body Fishnet, Because, C'mon, Who Doesn't After A Few Drinks?

I Feel Bad About Peyton Manning's Neck

This Can't Be Good: Peyton Manning Reportedly Had Additional Neck Surgery Today

George W. Bush Will Narrate A Two-Minute Intro To An NFL Pregame Show On 9/11, And Not The Ones On CBS, NBC, Or ESPN

Like The Real Thing, Fake Brett Favre Just Won't Go Away

The Bunt Home Run And The World-Famous Sneaker Company That May Not Exist

Nyjer Morgan Is Trying His Damnedest To Engage Albert Pujols In A Middle School Fight

Life Is Crap Without Something To Look Forward To. The Week 1 NFL Jamboroo

Here Is Bill Walton Dressed As A Water Bottle, Because We Love You

Roger Goodell Is Shifting Liability Onto The Help

Gordon Hayward Is Just Playing StarCraft All Summer

Kid Shoots 20,317 Baskets Over Labor Day Weekend, Is Randomly The Son Of My Eye Doctor

Panthers' New Cornerback Learns He's The Panthers' New Cornerback From Twitter

Iman "Justin Bieber" Shumpert Is Here To Give You Nightmares

Here's The Dash Cam View Of Olympic Gymnast Paul Hamm's Drunken Arrest In Ohio Last Weekend

Well-Meaning Nats Fan Breaks Out The "HE'S BACK KKK" Jersey For Stephen Strasburg's Return

The Flying Squirrel, Like The Cleveland Indians' Playoff Hopes, Is Getting Away

The Dumbass Who Blamed Bryan Stow For Getting Beaten Into A Coma Wants To Watch Michael Vick Blow His Knees Out

Kobe Bryant Was Briefly On Twitter Tonight And Like That, He Was Gone

New Zealand's Sex Workers Expect The Rugby World Cup Will Be Quite The Lucrative Affair

If You've Ever Wanted To See Derrick Rose Play With A Taiwanese Hand Puppet, Today's Your Lucky Day

Today In Great Headlines

PNC Park's Acoustics Are So Good That You Can Hear A Home Run Hit The Empty Bleachers

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update

This Week's Florida Youth-Football Fight Involved A Cheerleader, Her Mom, Her Coach And Two Other Teens