Since MLB isn’t equipped to punish a player choking out his own teammate in the dugout, the Nationals gave a four-game suspension to fuming goblin Jonathan Papelbon for attacking Bryce Harper during Sunday’s game.

The suspension means that Papelbon, who was already suspended three games for hitting Manny Machado last week, will miss the rest of the season:

Manager Matt Williams said Harper will sit out today’s makeup game against the Reds for his role in the incident. It’s Washington’s final home game of the season, but it seemed like a scheduled day off was planned for him anyway. Still, imagine being a Nationals fan who missed the original Reds-Nats game, went to today’s game, and didn’t get to see Bryce Harper in person because Jonathan Papelbon tried to squeeze his head off.


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