016 Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....
Marco Rubio's Boy Kinda Punched Rand Paul's Boy In The Face Last Night
Politics, like rap music, is sports. In the throes of competition, tempers flare as the blood gets hot. There’s always some beef. Sometimes, separate parties arrive at blows. Rarely, there’s even gunplay. Within that context, allow us to direct you to the bestest beef of them all, between aides to R...
Richard Sherman And Michael Bennett Are Having A Serious Public Debate On Black Lives Matter
Over the past few days, two Seahawks have publicly offered differing opinions on the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality, poverty, and a host of related issues. In the usually anodyne world of athlete press conferences, it’s really something....
Dissolve The United States
They are all insane people. Even poor, stressed-out, occasionally lucid-seeming John Kasich: bonkers. Pathology is contextual, and one simply does not bring reasonable takes like Actually, the deal with Iran is okay, provided we do the diligence of enforcing it, just like pretty much every other dea...
Welcome To Deadspin's Republican Debate Liveblog
Tonight’s Republican presidential debate takes place at the Ronald Reagan Library, where the top 11 candidates will discuss foreign policy, domestic issues, and probably Ahmed Mohamed, the Muslim teenager who was arrested for bringing his homemade clock to school earlier this week. Loony-toon Donald...
Venezuela Beats Canada On Sketchy Foul Call, Qualifies For Olympics
Canada has NBAers like Andrew Wiggins, Kelly Olynyk, and Corey Joseph on its roster, while I can almost guarantee you’ve never heard of anybody on Venezuela’s. But when the two teams met in the semifinals of the FIBA Americas tournament in Mexico City last night, it was Venezuela who prevailed 79-78...
An R.E.M. Song For Each 2016 Presidential Candidate
So Donald Trump took the stage at an anti-Iran-deal rally to the strains of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” and Michael Stipe got all salty about it, and, well, look out. You’re welcome....
Bad Old Man Likes Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a cigar on life support, recently said some nice things about Donald Trump, a fart telling an endless joke about itself. This, naturally, has led to Trump stating that he’d like to get Ditka “involved in some capacity” with his potential presidency:...
Deez Nuts: The Day Every Local News Station Got BOFA'd
The news about North Carolinians’ thirst for Deez Nuts forced local news operations across the country to cover the story of everyone’s favorite fake presidential candidate. So here’s a supercut of baffled TV anchors saying “Deez Nuts.” ...
The Fight For The Soul Of Black Lives Matter
A week and a half ago, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was speaking in Seattle, Wash., when he was interrupted by two young, black protesters. Marissa Janae Johnson and Mara Jacqeline Willaford, representing the local chapter of Black Lives Matter, called on the Vermont senator to publish his ...
Kid Takes Marco Rubio's Football To The Head
GOP presidential hopeful Marco Rubio might be a huge dork, but it’s not his fault this kid in Iowa took a football to the head. Rubio lofted that ball perfectly. That kid should’ve adjusted. Instead, this happened:...
Why Not Let Kobe Play In One Last Olympics?
The USA Basketball apparatus gathered in Vegas this week for their annual confab, and most of the talk centered around which 12 players will be selected for the 2016 Olympics in Rio. Like it’s been for both of the Olympics since the 2004 disaster in Athens, the roster is going to be stacked, and som...
2016 Olympians Will Be Competing In Poop Water, And The IOC Doesn't Care
Following in the grand tradition of pre-Olympic fuck-ups, the International Olympic Committee and 2016 Summer Olympics host city Rio de Janeiro have teamed up to bring us the summer games’ first big problem: shit water....
Bernie Sanders Can't Save Black People
Bernie Sanders, the senator from the very great state of Vermont, is campaigning to be the next president of the United States of America. As such, he is giving speeches throughout the land. This past weekend, his ongoing tour took him to Seattle, Wash., where he stumped in front of people at Westla...
Remember When Steve Austin Hit Donald Trump With The Stone Cold Stunner?
With GOP frontrunner Donald Trump earning his way into daily headlines—often in the grossest way possible—it’s worth remembering The Donald’s long affiliation with professional wrestling. Trump played host to some early Wrestlemania events, and famously “bought” WWE Raw, only to sell it back the nex...
The Only Real Question That Needs To Be Asked At A Debate
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook....
Stop Pretending Donald Trump Is Running For President
Tonight, hot pork balloon Donald Trump will participate in a televised debate with nine Republican presidential candidates. He is pretending to campaign for president, and the political press has agreed to pretend to believe him for a little while. It’s cynical and farcical and boring and stupid and...
This Is The Most Lit Political Ad Of All Time
Why is that large child getting carried around by his dad? He’s way too big for that. What a weird family....
We Made Killer Mike Some Campaign Posters
The people have spoken, and the people really want Killer Mike to run for public office. Yesterday, he tweeted that you should write him in as a candidate in the current Georgia State Senate election, which quickly lead the internet to believe he was actually running. He’s not, he later clarified. A...