aka Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

On My Honeymoon, I Kept Seeing A Flabby, Neck-Braced Kaka
You probably know Kaka as the superstar midfielder for Brazil and Real Madrid. Maybe you'll remember him as the cover boy of FIFA 11....

Here's A Taste Of The Child Torture That's Happening Over On ESPN Right Now
This is what happens when a Jamaican kid is given a Sanskrit word, and shipped off back home, never to return....

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

Shaka Smart's Key To Success: Quoting <em>Scarface</em>
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: VCU likes to be the bad guy....

Jason Kendall Blows Up At A Reporter, Is Kind Of An Asshole
Yesterday, Nick Wright of 610 AM was interviewing Royals prospect Mike Moustakas when he asked him a wholly innocuous question about possibly starting the season in AAA to delay his arbitration clock. That's when Jason Kendall, not even part of the conversation, jumped in....

Blake Griffin Dunks Over A Car, And Other Tales From The Slam Dunk Contest
The NBA All Star Slam Dunk Contest was tremendously gimmicky this year. Blake Griffin dunked over a car, JaVale McGee dunked two balls at once, Serge Ibaka dunked from the free throw line, and a child actor pretended to lose his toy for the good of a dunk. It was great....

MLS Season Ends In Most Fitting Way Possible
The MLS Cup was last night. (Did you notice? Did you know NASCAR also crowned its champ?) It ended with an own goal and the hero injuring himself on his fateful strike. It couldn't have gone down any other way....

Skittish Soccer Analyst Completes Self-Psych-Out
Retired German soccer player Mehmet Scholl has seen Sky Sports' Jessica Kastrop getting pegged with an errant ball one too many times it seems. In related news, "Scholl" is German for "the yips." [SI's Hot Clicks]...

Battered Sideline Reporter Soldiers On, Wears Helmet
Last week, the world laughed at Sky Sports Germany's Jessica Kastrop for getting knocked in the head with an errant soccer ball. So she took the necessary precautions against a repeat performance with the help of a funny looking helmet....

M's Celebrate Japanese Heritage Night By Firing Manager Of Japanese Heritage
Great timing, Mariners. You promise fans "a fun-filled night of Japanese culture," and hours before first pitch you ax Don Wakamatsu, the majors' first Japanese-American manager. To make amends, Chone Figgins will be performing seppuku before tonight's game. [Mariners.com]...

Spider-Man Outfielder Makes One Of The Greatest Catches Ever
This is from last night's Yokohama BayStars/Hiroshima Carp game. Breaks like this are why the BayStars are in last place, though I think Hiroshima would take issue with any other city calling itself unlucky....

Dennis Rodman Jousts With Death
Dennis Rodman: Immortal? Or just Unbreakable? The Worm survived riding in an SUV that flipped over on a south Florida highway Saturday. Rodman was returning from a DJ gig which means there are no retired NBA players that aren't DJs. [Chicago Tribune]...

Kaká Thinks Men Who Buy Whores Deserve A Red Card
He's got fancy feet and a wholesome disposition. Brazil's popular midfielder is, according to Google translator, "Officially participating in the campaign "Real men do not buy women" of @ aplusk against prostitution." Wonder if he filmed a commercial with his mother. [TwitPic]...

Landon Donovan's Goal May Have Also Saved His Marriage
Everyone was fighting back tears when Landon Donovan blew a kiss to "Bianca" following the biggest moment of his life. Well, that moment may have brought him and Bianca—his estranged wife—back together. Grab your hankies again....

Landon Donovan's Ex-Wife Responds: Does Not Recall Frottage, Does Like Eddie Bauer
Yesterday, our man in South Africa told of a slow dance with Bianca Kajlich that he'd never forget, even if Bianca did. She did: "hmmmm. He's right, not a clue. But I do love me some Eddie Bauer so that feels right....."...

My Slow Grind With Landon Donovan's Ex: A Word From Our World Cup Correspondent
Luke O'Brien and his crew of irregulars will be filing occasional dispatches from South Africa for us. Today, a story of attraction and frottage, involving our correspondent and one Bianca Kajlich, then the future (and now the former) Mrs. Landycakes....

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

You Don't Mess With Montana's Communications Students
Following an order from the coach to his team to stop talking to their reporters, Montana's student newspaper struck back in a beautifully catty way: they started covering the Grizzlies' opponents....

It's Fight Night In The Bronx
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mariners Skipper Takes Job Title Seriously
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....