aka Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How The U.S. Can Wipe The Floor With Brazil
Bob Bradley must be slightly busy right now trying to prepare his team to pull off another upset of a superior squad. Toilet-papering one of Brazil's finest is probably a strategy he hasn't considered....
$94 Million Just Ain't What It Used To Be
The world's financial oblivion has affected some sports clubs worse than others. Perhaps Real Madrid giving AC Milan $94 million to take their best player will clue you in on who the haves and have nots are....
A Facebook Dispute, Argued With Ink
"Falcons OL Quinn Ojinnaka is free on bond after being accused of fighting with his wife over Facebook activity. Police said Ojinnaka's wife confronted him about contact with a female friend on Facebook.... Ojinnaka told police his wife began the fight by attempting to stab him with a pen." [ESPN]...
Warm Your Butt In The Dice-K Memorial Bathrooms
The Boston Red Sox paid the Seibu Lions $51.1 million for the right to take Daisuke Matsuzaka off their hands. So what did they do with the money? New toilet seats for everyone!...
Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints....
More Bone Crunching UFC Action
In case you need a break from watching Corey Hill's elongated flipper on a 24-hour loop, there was even more calcium-deficient moments from this week's UFC contest....
'It's Just Al In The Darkness Now.' Tim Kawakami Discusses His Run-In At Raiders Headquarters
In The Princess Bride, Westley only had to make it through the Fire Swamp once. But San Jose Mercury reporter Tim Kawakami has to brave the danger that is the Oakland Raiders' Alameda headquarters on a regular basis, and that's much, much worse. It's not an easy job, but it's never boring. By now yo...
Roman Abramovich's Fantasy Football Team Is Better Than Yours
Apparently Roman Abramovich doesn't like being first runner-up. After completing the silver sweep last season—finishing second in the Premier League, the Carling Cup, and the Champions League—the Russian billionaire owner of Chelsea FC responded by purchasing half of the Portuguese-speaking world. F...
Preakness: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It's time to let these gargantuan mammals race on their precariously thin legs and I'm pumped! Big Brown is your overwhelming favorite heading in to post time and the only real question is whether he can keep the hope of a Triple Crown alive. Continue after the jump for updates on all the goings on...
Sexy Olympian Has Sexy Performance
Now that Mother's Day is drawing to a close, we can get back to objectifying women. Just funnin'. I'm only interested in Rich Garces' tits. Or, failing that, Bobby Jenks'. Yesterday, noted attractive Olympian and tattoo enthusiast Nathasha Kai put on quite the show, scoring three goals in the U.S....
'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'
Ah, Victor Thompson. Poor dumb sap. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there; tattoos are permanent, but football winning streaks are not. Sure, it was all fun and games when he decided to get the Patriots logo etched into both sides of his skull earlier this season. What could possibly go wro...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
No Haka In Oregon, Bra
And now a story about a football team that begins every game with a 15-yard penalty ... and curiously, it's not the Raiders. The players from Jefferson High in Oregon perform the Haka Dance during pregame warmups every week, and are summarily penalized by officials for taunting. But instead of givin...
Red Sox Wonder Where All That Free Yen Went
When the Red Sox bid that ridiculous amount just for the right to offer Daisuke Matsuzaka a contract, one of the ancillary benefits was supposed to be all the Japanese endorsements he would bring in. (And take away from the Yankees.) But it looks like that hasn't happened at all....
Hawaii Loves Its Haka
The Hawaii Rainbows have taken, to fire themselves up, to doing the Haka before games. The Haka is mostly famous for being the intimidating pregame ritual for the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team. Now the Rainbows do it, mostly because their name is the Rainbows. But the WAC is not happy about it,...
Dice-K Has Expensive Balls (Sorry)
How much would you pay for a baseball signed by Daisuke Matsuzaka? We ask this not as theoretical. There's an actual, concrete price, and ... well, uh, it seems like a lot....
The Gyroball Rock
A little late on this, but if you were wondering whether Daisuke Matsuzaka was blessed with musical talent, rest assured, folks, the guy has mad vocal skillz. And by "mad vocal skills," we mean, he warbles songs to warm your heart and soul. He's like the Japanese Oprah....
And Suddenly, Figure Skating Is Fun Again
Just in case you haven't heard, Kristy Swanson was arrested Saturday night in Kingston, Ont. after a fight with Marcia O'Brien, who is the ex-wife of Canadian figure skater Lloyd Eisler. Swanson is dating Eisler. People magazine has the details, of course, and says that O'Brien filed a complaint, le...