ann Page 240 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Like A Bat Out Of Hell, We'll Be GONE When The Morning Comes!
Because we are a badass road cannon of destruction, we are zooming through the Midwest this week in a silver Chevy Cobalt. (We went to a motocross event in Taylorville, Ill., over the weekend and showed up in this car; this in no way caused us to be mocked, nope.) It's looking incredibly unlikely ...
We Say Replace Theismann With Borat Right Now
The Borat movie — Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan — is almost here, which pleases us greatly. We're kind of confounded by the release schedule, though. There was a premiere in Los Angeles on Monday (Defamer, of course, was there), and there was o...
The MNF Crew, Sadly, Is Getting Worse
The Big Lead says this morning what we've all kind of been thinking: It's probably time to write off the "Monday Night Football" broadcast crew a disaster....
Come Watch Mike Tyson Fight A Kangaroo
So, it's come to this. You thought Mike Tyson had hit bottom? You know nothing of the bottom, my friend. You can't handle the bottom! As part of Mike Tyson's World Tour which launches on Friday, the 40-year-old announced that some of his opponents may be women....
Us Against The Music
Little housecleaning matter here: Tomorrow night, right before the Tigers begin securing their 2-0 ALDS lead on the Yankees — sorry — we will be reading things aloud. Using our voice, and perhaps some spackle....
Ah ... When The Catchphrases Felt Only SLIGHTLY Warmed Over
Here's your little blast for the past today: As difficult as it is to believe that Hootie and the Blowfish were ever considered cool — we're not sure that actually ever happened — it's, these days, just as difficult to comprehend ESPN being, you know, down with the kids. These two unique cultural cu...
Apparently, Jose Lima Isn't The Only Singer Out There
If you weren't satisfied with Bill Simmons' iTunes mix — remember, by the way, tonight's Mr. Simmons' curious appearance on "The Colbert Report," so set Tivos to "stun" — our friendly overlords at Gawker Media are here to help....
Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....
(Almost) Everybody Loves Kornheiser
Well, the early reviews on Tony Kornheiser's debut on "Monday Night Football" are in ... and they're almost universally positive. Here's a sampling:...
Kornheiser's Big Debut On MNF; Hey, Watch Those Hands, Tirico
This tastefully choreographed publicity shot of what can probably best be described as "Mike Tirico Microphone Bukkake" signifies one thing: The new ESPN "Monday Night Football" crew is indeed kicking off tonight. Ignoring the wisdom of CBS banning sideline reporters entirely, the crew consists of...
Poker? We Barely Even Know Her! (Sorry.)
We haven't had any Anna Benson updates for a while, mainly because her husband is in baseball purgatory in Baltimore, they haven't made a divorce announcement in a few months and her handlers have apparently asked her to slow down on the slaughter of bunnies and other adorable animals....
Former Athlete Only Known For Her Looks Makes News For Her Looks
No. 1 most common email we've received today: "Have you seen what's happened to Anna Kournikova?"...
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who Will Be The Next Broadcaster Hit With Sexual Harassment?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think of him....
Today In The Premiership...
• Ruud Van Nistelrooy liked Germany so much that he wants to go back. Ruud wants his next season to be with Bayern Munich of the German Budesliga. Real Madrid had previously made a bid to acquire Van Niistelrooy, but it was rejected by Manchester United. I'm not ruling out the possibility that the...
Excuse Our Usual Dust
To help fix some of the lingering tech problems around here, we have completely overhauled our whole publishing system. That's good news in the long run — honest! — but, damn, it sure is making this morning miserable....
More Inappropriate Ball Talk
This time, courtesy of everyone's favorite wise little cartoon canary, ESPN football analyst John Clayton. JC couldn't contain his excitement about Peyton Manning's potential post-season dominance this year thanks to, um, some new rules. But it's quite apparent that Clayton might need to start rea...
Manny Will Be Manny, Just Not In Pittsburgh
Far be it from us to imply that someone isn't taking the All-Star Game seriously. But the facts are these: Manny Ramirez was the top vote-getter in the American League this year. And Manny isn't going. He says he has a sore knee, so you know, count him out. We know you are shocked by these develop...
Baby, Don't Forget Our Number
We come to you with all kinds of issues of a technical variety, and this time, they're not even the fault of the hamster-powered servers around these parts. Instead, our beloved Thunderbird email server has decided not only to not load any of our email messages, it's even killed our a ton we had i...
Maurice Drew Doesn't Hate Your Nerd Ass That Much After All
If case you didn't remember, former UCLA running back (and now Jacksonville Jaguars rookie) Maurice Drew had been implicated in the Los Angeles Denny's incident in which Bears safety Ricky Manning and pals beat up a guy for using a laptop. (We're sure this happens to Cuban all the time.)...
Ricky's Canadian Debut
Ricky Williams made his Canadian Football League debut last night in a pre-season exhibition game for the Toronto Argonauts. It looks like Ricky's domination of the Canadian game is not a given. He had seven yards on four carries. And I think his numbers get even worse when you consider the exchan...