asses Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All The Cool Adults Are Taking Classes
Classes are the solution to most problems, existential and logistical. “But anything I need to learn, I can learn on the internet,” the less enlightened might argue. Yeah, yeah, it’s true, sort of—the internet is indeed a treasure trove of YouTube knowledge, MOOCs are the future, and soon we will al...
ESPN's Darren Rovell On Nike Exploiting Chinese Workers: "It Is What It Is"
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell, a man with many unread issues of The Economist in his bathroom, has a habit of using his Twitter account to explain that all sorts of terrible things are just fine so long as capitalists can profit from them. Racism? Totally cool if the market says it is. What a...
The Ultimate Jason "White Chocolate" Williams Highlight Reel Is Finally Here
There is no shortage of White Chocolate highlights on the internet, but this latest reel was put together by the NBA, meaning it’s full of high quality video and more than a few plays you’ve probably never seen before....
Jackass Fights With Adrian Gonzalez For Foul Ball
So here’s some dickhead wearing a Red Sox cap fighting with Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez for a foul ball. Gonzalez won, but he was obviously pretty pissed off. And why shouldn’t he be? The Dodgers aren’t even playing the Red Sox!...
Darren Rovell Says Racism Is Okay If The Market Approves; ESPNers Flee
Darren Rovell, a commemorative gift plate from the American Enterprise Institute that somehow talks and writes and uses social media, went there just now on Twitter, and it’s a sight to behold—a service to the nation, in its way. While a market fundamentalist with a neuron or two firing would probab...
Dumbass Has Dumb Thoughts On Paternity Leave
Hate clicks are still clicks, but John Stiegerwald — the dumbass columnist who blamed Bryan Stow for getting beaten up — was kind enough to post his rant against Trevor Rosenthal taking paternity leave on Facebook, where we won’t have to give him any uniques to read his impressive buffoonery....
Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]
Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston joined Stephen Tulloch on the list of idiots who injured themselves celebrating a sack this season. It's made worse by the fact Chicago is down 25 points to the Patriots, and that Houston's sack came against New England's rookie backup quarterback....
Peyton Manning Throws 509th Career TD Pass, Sets NFL Record
Peyton Manning is the new NFL touchdown pass king after his eight-yard pass to Demaryius Thomas put the Broncos up 21-3 tonight against the 49ers. Watch the ceremony above—complete with keep-away— and the record-setting pass below....
Charts: Who Are The Best Deep Passers In The NFL?
Deep passes are the most exciting play in televised football—the viewing audience can't see the situation downfield until the ball (and the camera) make it down there, so the play always feels, in that tiny moment before we catch up, like a sure touchdown or interception. It's well known that not ev...
French Fans Continue To Honor Cycling's Doping Past With Bare Asses
Another day, another butt! Sunday's ass exposure by a Tour de France spectator demonstrated the slight-of-hand necessary to pull off a classy mooning of the peloton as it rides past. Today's was not so subtle....
Photoshop Miguel Diving Into Other Ill-Advised Situations
Miguel made quite the splash when he landed on two innocent spectators at last night's Billboard Awards. In fact, several more people have heard of Miguel this morning than had last night! Nobody said increasing that Q score was going to be easy....
Yes, Jim Lampley's Glasses Have Real Lenses
It's recently become an odd topic of speculation that HBO boxing commentator and occasional bad decision maker Jim Lampley wears glasses on-air that don't have any lenses in them. This speculation, indeed, has come up inside the Deadspin offices. After all, they're so damn clear! There's no glare! ...
Did A Camera Operator Just Pass Out Live On <em>SportsCenter</em>? [UPDATE: He's OK]
Amidst the breathless reporting of Chris Broussard's "sources" on the Mike D'Antoni hiring, ESPN managed to squeeze in a cognition-degrading segment hosted by short tie advocate Merril Hoge....
There Is A Crack In The Yankees Mystique
The captain is sidelined. Poor regular season attendance has become a postseason reality. Even the Yankee Stadium parking lot is failing....
![Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/180mahsexbhuvjpg.jpg)
Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]
Well, he only got one reply that actually included a phone number, and we're too scared to call it, so he probably was too. On Wednesday, the Sun Belt announced a one-game suspension for Arkansas State linebacker Qushaun Lee for an illegal hit against Alcorn State during their Saturday game. The le...
Swedish Team In Trouble After Bare-Assed Game Of "Butts Up"
In my schoolyard it was called "butts up." In yours, it might have been "asses up," "wallball," "red ass," "suicide," but the game is the same, and taps in to the primal center of young boys' brains. It's essentially handball, but the first one to run up a certain number of "outs" must lean against ...
Dwyane Wade Copes With Brutal Game 5 Loss By Wearing Stupid Glasses
First it was Russell Westbrook, and now it's Dwyane Wade rocking a pair of glasses without lenses in the postgame locker room. Wade may be a fashionable man, but you can't pull off this look after you got your ass beat. LENS-FREE GLASSES ARE FOR CLOSERS. I'm not gonna go as far as Yahoo's Dan Wetzel...
Steve Nash Dished A No-Look Pass While On His Ass Complaining To The Referee
Last night's Suns-Spurs game got off to a unique start, as Steve Nash fell to the floor after being checked by a San Antonio defender, looked up at the referee to complain about the no-call, and simultaneously passed the ball to Marcin Gortat, who attempted a three-pointer. If there's any play t...
What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. You'd hear through the gra...