asu Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• In Progress — Golf: Ryder Cup [NBC] • 12:00 — College Football: East Carolina at North Carolina State [ESPN] • 1:00 — MLB: Boston at Toronto [TBS] • 3:00 — College Football: Arizona at UCLA [FSN] • 3:30 — College Footballl: Florida at Tennessee [CBS] • 3:55 — MLB: Minnesota at Tampa Bay [FOX] • 3...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shall We Play a Game?
• 1:00 — NFL: Oakland @ Kansas City [CBS] — This is a National Fucking Football League game where one head coach may be playing for his job ... in week two. Hopefully I will not get fired after day two. • 1:00 — NFL: Bears @ Carolina [FOX] — Get to know Matt Forte and Kyle Orton. Here's the link to ...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• Postponed - NASCAR Sprint Cup race will be held tomorrow. • In progress - College Football - check here for national breakdown. • In progress - PGA: BMW Championship, Third Round [NBC] • In progress - Tennis: US Open [CBS] • 2:00 - Movie: The Replacements [Cinemax] • 3:30 - Phillies at Mets, Detro...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Kiss August Goodbye
What to watch while Sussman's 8-Bit nightmares become a reality... • In progress — Sport: US Open Third and Fourth Round Coverage [CBS] - Sure is windy there today. • 1:30 — Sport: Beach Volleyball - AVP Crocs Tour Women's Championship [NBC] - May-Treanor and Walsh versus Non-Brazilians. • 1:30 — S...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem
What to watch while praying David Duchovny gets the help he needs... • In progress — Sport: U.S. Open Tennis Third Round Coverage [CBS] - Admit it: you need your Mary Carillo fix. • 12:00 — Sport: Syracuse at Northwestern [ESPN2] - Why should the ranked teams get all the love? • 3:00 — Sport: PGA To...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: We Think the Olympics Are Fabulous!
• 12:00 — Sport: Olympic-o-rama [NBC] - According to NBC, we get potpourri. Boxing, track and field, water polo, gymnastics, and Mom's Surprise Casserole. • 12:00 — Sport: Little League World Series, Consolation Game [ESPN] - Sadly, this game will be bumped for John McCain's announcement of his new ...

China Continues To Seduce Us With Its Quaint, Draconian Charms
Two elderly Chinese women who had applied for a permit to protest at the Olympics have finally had their request reviewed by the Beijing police. The verdict? Of course it's re-education at a labor camp for both. Thanks for writing in! Also, as I understand it, at their hearing one of the women was r...

Suggestions For Your One-Day Olympic Detox
Listed in order of start time: 12 PM Little League World Series: Pool play. I want this entire pool scrubbed, sterilized and disinfected! ESPN Classic, noon; ESPN2, 1 p.m., 6 p.m. and 8 p.m.; ABC, 3:30 p.m. 1 PM MLB: Chicago Cubs at Florida. Quick, what rhymes with Florida? WGN. 2 PM Golf: Nationwid...

Little League World Series, Presented By Boston Market, Or So We Wish
Listed in order of start time...Little League World Series: Pool play. Players will not be permitted on the field within one hour of their last meal. ESPN, 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 6 p.m. and 8 p.m.; ABC, 3:30 p.m. Tennis: ATP Tour, Legg Mason Classic, semifinals. They still play tennis while the Olympics a...

Vegas Summer League Is A Fanboy's Wet Dream
Are you a fan of basketball? Do you enjoy traveling to Las Vegas? Do you appreciate young ladies of questionable legality traipsing around in tiny shirts that read "Where Amazing Happens" and very little else? Well then why the fuck would you miss the NBA's Vegas Summer League?...

New Olympic Sport? Lava Surfing
Because, let's be honest, only pansies brave a surf that isn't boiling....

Jelena Jankovic Not Doing Any Splits After Today's Performance
Not a good week for highly-ranked Serbian women, as third-ranked superstar Jelena Jankovic went down in the fourth round this morning at Wimbledon. Jankovic, known for her salty toughness and her love of Lita Ford's wardrobe, was bounced by the 60th ranked player in early morning action....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• 12:15 — Documentary: Joe Louis: America's Hero Betrayed. Don't worry, it's only an hour and fifteen minutes, and it's tremendous. [HBO] • 1:30 — MLB: St. Louis Cardinals at Boston Red Sox. [TBS] • 1:30 — Formula One: Grand Prix of France. There will be cheese; BYOW. [FOX] • 1:30 — IndyCar Racing: ...

The Des Moines Register Is Finally Understanding The Interweb
On Saturday, thanks to the awful flooding of Iowa, the Iowa Cubs played in front of zero fans in a 5-4 win over Nashville. The flooding has killed five, displaced thousands from their homes and caused millions of dollars in damage. Therefore, Black Heart Gold Pants, an Iowa football blog, posted a ...

Somebody Has Been Watching "Rookie Of The Year"
Yesterday during the NCAA Super Regional, UC Irvine got out of a base loaded jam in the 7th inning against LSU by pulling the Hidden Ball Trick, which is best known to people of my generation from the movie Rookie of the Year, which also taught us that pitchers got big butts. Except UC Irvine didn't...

A Beautiful Day to Watch Others Exercise
• In Progress — NBA: Boston Celtics vs. Atlanta Hawks. Mike Woodson tried to get excited for Game Seven, but he's just so steamed about that Rookie of the Year vote. [ABC] • 2:00 — NHL: Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Rangers. Can the Penguins close them out? Are you still reading? [NBC] • 3:00 — P...

The Updated Story on Marvin Harrison
Details remain scant out of Philadelphia following a shooting outside of Playmakers, Marvin Harrison's establishment in North Philadelphia. The Indianapolis wide receiver has been questioned by police as part of the investigation, but he is not considered a suspect at this time....

Springtime For Meyer
• In Progress — CFB: Florida Gators Spring Game. Tebow is sick and Harvin has heel problems that tend to plague men of similar greatness. [ESPN] • In Progress — Tennis: WTA Bausch & Lomb Championships, Semifinal. It's Maria Sharapova and Lindsay Davenport if I'm not mistaken. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Hockey...

Georgetown Got Lucky. Well, Not Really, But Still
Louisville fell in a closely contested, if not high scoring, game today in the Verizon Center to a Georgetown team that's quite adept at grinding out close games. Rick Pitino, however, was quoted as saying by D.C. Sports Bogger Dan Steinberg after the game that the Hoyas were just a bunch of big luc...