asu Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hands off, Sergio Aguero — at a minimum, touch of lineswoman should have been carded
If you know nothing else about soccer, you probably still know that it’s the game where you can’t use your hands....
Somehow, WrestleMania Is Happening This Weekend. Let's Talk About That
It takes a wealth of cognitive dissonance to watch wrestling in normal times. Like pretending one person hitting another with a chair precisely in the back is a reasonable way to end a discussion. Or that a figure-four would really hurt. Or that Asuka wouldn’t straight up murder everyone in her path...
Dipshit NFL Reporter Exposes His Entire Ass With Blockheaded Tweets About Antonio Brown's Rape Case
Oftentimes, the worst examples of society’s despicable penchant for immediately blaming and/or discrediting women who report being victims of sexual assault are relegated to anonymous, obscure social media posters and website commenters. Other times, the dumbfucks embodying the trend are people with...
UEFA Thankfully Won't Uphold The Dumb VAR Rule That Marred The Women's World Cup
One of the worst-received aspects of the Women’s World Cup this summer was the VAR-induced penalty kick debacle. The choice to subject goalkeepers’ feet locations to exacting scrutiny with video review, and to let penalty takers try their kicks again should VAR detect that a keeper drifted a centime...
A Look Back At Kegasus, The Bizarre And Boozy Preakness Mascot
Nobody gives a damn about the 2019 Preakness Stakes....
Thomas Ulsrud's Norwegian Team Is Disbanding After 12 Years Of Curling, 10 Years Of Outrageous Pants
The curling team with the pants. That’s all you have to say. The imagery is instant: four grown Scandinavian men and their provocative trousers. It’s quite an accomplishment, especially for a niche Olympic sport....
This Penalty Kick Is So Bad That The Player Who Took It Was Immediately Cut
It’s been quite the whirlwind week for Venezuelan soccer player Bendix Parra. Last Tuesday, he was a starter in one of the biggest matches in the history of his club, Paraguay’s Independiente. This Tuesday, he found himself unemployed when Independiente tore up his contract. All of this for one espe...
Robert Kraft Is Challenging The Florida Constitution To Keep You From Seeing Video Of His Hand Job
Can billions of dollars buy permission not to abide by a state constitution? Robert Kraft—owner of the New England Patriots, overseer of one of the greatest dynasties in modern NFL history, and self-styled humanitarian (if you ignore the coziness with Donald Trump) is betting yes. He hired some of t...
Inept Soccer Team Takes Fifty-Four (54) Shots And Scores Zero (0) Goals
Bolivian club Nacional Potosí hosted Venezuelan club Zulia last night in a Copa Sudamericana match, South America’s equivalent to the Europa League. Nacional had 79 percent possession of the ball and popped off a staggering 54 shots. Zulia took just six shots all night and completed just 47 percent ...
Floyd Mayweather's "Fight" With A Japanese Kickboxing Prodigy Was Dumber Than Anyone Could Have Hoped For<em></em><em></em>
Last night in Tokyo, Floyd Mayweather fought 20-year-old kickboxer Tenshin Nasukawa in an altogether embarrassing sham “exhibition” boxing match which was announced in early November, then unannounced two days later, and finally un-unannounced after that, with a strange set of rules and no convincin...
Reports: Tenshin Nasukawa To Box American In Exhibition Match
According to reports, Japanese kickboxing prodigy Tenshin Nasukawa will be crossing over into another sport on New Year’s Eve, engaging in an exhibition match with a boxer at a Rizin card after weeks of back and forth over the promotional details. MMAFighting reporter Marc Raimondi has information a...
Floyd Mayweather Changes His Mind About Fighting Japanese Kickboxing Phenom
Remember two days ago when Floyd Mayweather held an hour-long press conference in Tokyo to announce that he would be fighting 20-year-old kickboxing genius Tenshin Nasukawa in Japan on New Year’s Eve? Ha ha, it was all a misunderstanding, according to Mayweather, who announced in a lengthy Instagram...
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Fighting A Japanese Kickboxing Prodigy Makes Absolutely No Sense
After flirting with fights of various natures against Khabib Nurmagomedov, Manny Pacquiao (again), and Conor McGregor (again), world-class asshole Floyd Mayweather Jr. has come out of retirement for either the third or fourth time and booked his next fight, which will take place on New Year’s Eve i...
The First Woman To Do A Triple Axel Is Still Skating
This week, Tonya Harding placed third in the Dancing With The Stars final. As we were reminded throughout the (blessedly) brief season, Harding was the first American woman to land a triple axel in competition, which she did in 1991. But Harding was not the first woman ever to do this jump—that dis...
The Penultimate Episode Of The All-Athlete <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>Featured A Lot Of Hats And Not Many Shirts
In the 1994 comedy The Mask, a shy bank clerk named Stanley Ipkiss (played by Jim Carrey) is plagued with the burden and the blessing of discovering an ancient mask containing the spirit of the ancient Norse god, Loki. Under the spell of the mask, Ipkiss, an otherwise meek man who has trouble with w...
This Week's All-Athlete<i> Dancing With The Stars </i>Was All Glitter And Madness
The dresses: glittery. The celebrities: moderately recognizable. The event: you definitely heard someone mention it once. Last night, and technically all of yesterday if you really think about it, was Monday, the one day of the week where a handful of dubious notables along with actual talent hired ...
Mirai Nagasu Apologizes For Wild Comments Made After Disappointing Free Skate
Hey, remember that unhinged interview Mirai Nagasu gave following her bafflingly poor free skate performance? The one where Nagasu framed the fucking Olympics as an audition for Dancing With the Stars? The one where she threw her teammates under the bus? What the hell happened there?...
Well That Was A Bizarre Press Conference From Mirai Nagasu
Of all the parties involved in the U.S. women’s figure skating collapse yesterday, Mirai Nagasu had perhaps the most baffling performance. Nagasu was considered a dark horse candidate to sneak in for bronze after delivering a big free skate performance in the team event, but she didn’t even attempt ...
The U.S. Women Fall Apart In Figure Skating
A medal for the U.S. women in the ladies single figure skating was always going to be a long shot at best. With Alina Zagitova and Evgenia Medvedevia of Russia all but assured the gold and silver medal in whatever order the judges decided, every other top skater would be left scrambling for the bron...
How Seriously Should We Take Figure Skating's Team Event?
The figure skating competition at the Pyeongchang Games is starting tonight. It’s not the one that you’re probably familiar with, the event that turned Brian Boitano, Peggy Fleming, Dorothy Hamill, and even Tara Lipinksi into household names. Those skaters won gold in the individual medal contests; ...