baby Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Clarification: Ron Franklin Called Jeannine Edwards "Sweet Baby," Not "Sweet Cakes"
Sweet baby? What the hell is that? Who calls anyone "sweet baby," outside of Boyz II Men songs? This makes Ron Franklin both patronizing and weird. [USA Today; earlier]...

Here's Video Of A Baby Monkey Riding A Small Pig
No, it's not SnOOki caught on nannycam with a Juicehead Gorilla. Just nature's reenactment....

The Day Jeremiah Pharms's Wife Attacked His New Girlfriend In The Stands
You might remember the brilliant, scary reporting about the 2000 Washington Huskies by the Seattle Times' Ken Armstrong and and Nick Perry in 2008. Now, all the stuff that couldn't make a family newspaper has been released in the book, "Scoreboard, Baby."...

If Drew Brees' Wife Brittany Goes Into Game-Day Labor, She's On Her Own
So, 60 Minutes will feature Drew Brees tomorrow night. The segment includes an interview with Jeremy Shockey, thus totally screwing anybody who said "I'll tattoo 'Berzerker' on my forehead if Jeremy Shockey ever gets on 60 Minutes."...

Matt Forte Put A Bun In The Wrong Oven
Forte's fiancée dumped him after learning that his ex-girlfriend is seven months pregnant with his child. It worked for Brady! [Sun-Times]...

A Video Compilation Of Dads Catching Foul Balls While Holding Their Babies
Saturday's Cubs-Cardinals game featured one of the greatest sights in baseball: a father taking a risk and catching a foul ball while holding a baby. In honor of that man's brave baby imperiling, here's a salute to those glory-hound patres familias....

Baby Eating Way Out Of Watermelon Encapsulates The Human Cond—Awwwwwww!
Edible time-out? Funtime/dinnertime mashup? Emerging pod person? All we know is—awwwwwww! [via ExtraHotTrainaMustardClicks]...

Good News, Everybody: No Bastard Child For Landon Donovan
Either there never was one, or he had it "taken care of." But most likely it's been shipped to a secret underground facility along with Cristiano Ronaldo's American son to prepare for 2030. [E! Online]...

A Late Birthday Present For Our Country: Ronaldo's Son Is An American Citizen!
Not only is Cristiano Ronaldo's baby mama an American, but the kid was born on American soil. Project 2030 (coached by Michael Bradley), here we come! [AP]...

World Cup Open Thread: Greece-Nigeria
Does Greece have any of the magic left that took it to Victoryopolis in Euro 2004? Order the souvlaki and comment below....

The Self-Identified Tiger Woods Babymamas Come Out Of The Woodwork
Devon James now says a 2006 threesome wasn't her first encounter with Woods, and, in fact, he's the father of her nine-year-old son. This is the type of thing she should have mentioned earlier, back when we actually cared. [NYDN]...

Tiger Mistress Upgrades Self To Tiger Baby Mama
A disgraced former journalist claims that a sensationalist documentary claims that a fame-seeking mistress claims she gave birth to Tiger Woods's love child, and was paid to keep quiet. Well, that's all the evidence I need! [The Sun]...

Those Cheeky Brits Are Having A Laugh At Our Expense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Albert Haynesworth Was In Love With A Stripper (Until She Got Pregnant)
So now he's not. The Brooklyn woman met Haynesworth at the Super Bowl, but he dumped her in March when she got in the family way. She's suing for $10 million, which is chump change for Dan Snyder employees. [NY Post]...

Baby (Joe) Mauer Gets No Trade Clause From Seattle Family
In the grand tradition of parents naming their kids after sports heroes they can't possibly live up to—and then dressing them up in silly costumes—we proudly present Baby Joe Mauer....

Unborn Baby Yao Causes An International Incident
Conspiracy theorists in China believe that Yao Ming just brought his pregnant wife back to the US so she can give birth to an American citizen. Lou Dobbs is not going to be happy....

Thankfully, The Blind Kid Can't See Corso's Merkin
What happens when a grown man wearing a Duck head attempts to shake the hand of a blind child? MAGIC, that's what. Someone get this kid a complimentary Erin Andrews breast touch. Via Spencer Hall....

2009 SHOTY Awards: A New Beginning
Because a full month of SHOTY tournament voting gets a little tiresome, we're making a few changes. Follow along....

Baby Tressel Is A Sharp Dresser
Concerned reader Robert is worried that regular Mangino won't be with us much longer, so his baby form will go wanting. So he presents the world with Baby Tressel. Thoughts?...

The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....