ben Page 118 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steelers vs. Bengals - 2nd Quarter
• The Steelers answer and grab a little bit of the momentum back with a touchdown via a Ben Roethlisberger to Willie Parker screen pass. 10-7 Bengals....
Steelers vs. Bengals - 1st Quarter
• Chad Johnson spent his time before the game hanging out in the parking lot with Bengals tailgaters. Hopefully, he's sober....
Playoff Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Bengals
For some reason, we're more excited about this playoff game than any of the others, though we know we're in the minority. We think it's because the NFL world is always happier and more in balance when you see teams like the Bengals — or the Texans, or the Lions, or (lo!) the Buzzsaw — make the playo...
Picking Up Where Chad Left Off
Since Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson has been so unfairly muffled all week, taking about 93 percent of the fun out of that Steelers-Bengals game, it has been up to fans to pick up his slack. One fan has come up with a great scenario....
The Tragic Muzzling Of Chad Johnson
Well, it's the week before the Cincinnati Bengals' first playoff game in 15 years, and they're hosting it, against the hated division rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Man, oh, man, wide receiver Chad Johnson must be going crazy, right? What's he gonna do? Score a touchdown and smelt some ore? Strap on B...
Big Ben's Prom Date
We were just sent this infinitely amusing photo from Saturday's Steelers-Browns game. This woman apparently went to prom with Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and is broadcasting it to the world. (This is why being famous is terrifying; somewhere out there, there are pictures of our junio...
Do Not Mess With Anna Benson And Her Guns
What's the best post-Christmas present we could receive? How about a brand new batch of crazy from Anna Benson's Web site. She has redesigned the puppy, with all kinds of new links like "Ask Anna Anything" and "Heavy Petting." (There's also this picture, next to the disturbing caption, "Got Milk, ...
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego 7, Kansas City 20. So, what did you use for pregame motivation, Marty, the tape of Jim Mora screaming, "PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?!" I feel much pain. • Buffalo 37, Cincinnati 27. Rough day for Chad Johnson. First, someone stole his reindeer (I HATE YOU, whoever it was), and then, they lose to ...
Someone Stole Chad Johnson's Reindeer
Never will you see someone who just scored a touchdown walk to the sidelines with such dejection. Chad Johnson took one to the house against Buffalo, but could not find his reindeer afterwards....
Steelers Putting Their Thing Down
Those of you who are hoping for a Browns upset over the Steelers today are likely to end up quite sad. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is apparently still quite bitter about the afore-mentioned Mr. Football snub, and he's playing his best ball of the year....
Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Pittsburgh @ Cleveland. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger makes an emotional return to Ohio, where he was only good enough in high school to be runner up for the title of Mr. Football in 1999. So if you you see Ben running around the field screaming, "Where's your Bam Childress NOW, bitches?" you'l...
Sweet Lord, Let Him Not Be Kidding
Last week, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson disappointed us — and pretty much every sports fan we know — by scoring a touchdown and simply handing the ball back to the ref....
Ben Troupe Will Do Anything For His Teammate
Well, we're two months in, so we suppose CBS Sportsline's rad, dope, duuuude "SPiN" section was due for a worthwhile story. Though it's not the same since they made E-Mack! go back to his Christian name. And this morning, we have to admit, they've got one: All respect....
NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...
Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...
FIRE MILLEN
Sorry about the headline, I just felt left out. Everyone else is chanting it or holding a sign. I wanted to join the parade....
Kris Benson Wonders Where It All Went Wrong
All right, so here's the situation. You're a middle-of-the-rotation starter whose team is trying to trade him. You're a former first overall pick who parlayed one good season into a multi-million-dollar deal. You are married to a woman who is attractive, but not as attractive as she so desperately...
PETA's Super Bowl Shuffle
According to the New York Post, the fine folks at PETA are putting together an commercial for the Super Bowl that will involved female models "'flashing' the camera, and when they lift their shirt, they will have prosthetic udders over their breasts." Ignoring the fact that this is almost, letter ...
Somebody Loan Greg Gall Some Cash For This
Life's tough when you're a former athlete — just ask Prancing Boy Jerry Rice — but thankfully, if you live in Cincinnati, there's always work for Miller, running around and getting people beer....
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chicago 9, Pittsburgh 21. Remarkably, Minnesota's going to be one game back in the division. They play the Bears in Week 17, too. • Cincinnati 23, Cleveland 20. Shayne Graham hits a field goal at the buzzer to avoid the major upset. Again, Chad Johnson is held out of the endzone. Again, Sunday is ...