We don't know if Jo-Jo Reyes was watching Wilson Valdez celebrate an unlikely W after six seasons as a non-pitcher, and we don't know if he's reading about it right now. We do know that if we were in his position, it would make us want to throw a goddamn chair through the window.
Did everyone watch "Fab Five" last night? If you're like us, you were most excited by the teaser of Jimmy King calling Christian Laettner a "bitch." Turns out he wasn't the only one with choice words for the face of that era's Duke team.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
The woman who falsely accused three Duke lacrosse players of rape in 2006 was arrested by Durham police after a domestic dispute. Charges include arson, assault and battery, identity theft, resisting an officer, child endangerment and attempted murder. So....yeah. [WRAL]
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo).
At this rate there are going to be more books on Roger Clemens than on Abraham Lincoln ... and why not? Lincoln never kept apartments in 12 different cities for all of his women.