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World Cup 2022 — Group H preview: Yes, Portugal can win this and no, it won’t be pleasant if they do
Let’s get the main reason out of the way. No one outside of Portugal wants to see giant pain in the ass, huffing his own farts, twice-accused rapist Cristiano Ronaldo — who has denied the allegations — hoist the trophy. It was bad enough in 2016 when he left the final injured that he made sure every...
It’s no less a referendum on Neymar — World Cup 2022 Group G preview
This World Cup is setting up as either a treatise or a coronation for Lionel Messi. He recently collected his first major trophy with Argentina — 2021’s Copa America — but still needs the World Cup to stand on the same pedestal as Diego Maradona in most’s eyes. He’s coming to Qatar with unquestionab...
Oh, I can’t drink alcohol at the World Cup, can I? Hold my beer
One of the pastimes of my college football fan experience was sneaking booze into the stadium. A lot of venues nixed alcohol sales after crowds devolved into angry mobs in the ’90s. A few rolled back those policies recently, and whether it’s due to the unending greed of universities, or a sense of h...
Wouldn’t you know it, Cristiano Ronaldo is being a whiny turd again
If one were interested in fairness when it comes to Cristiano Ronaldo — and I’m not for a host of reasons, including the big glaring one (actually two) — one would have to concede that being a professional athlete requires an absurd amount of defiance. At some point in our childhood, we’re all told ...
Rafael Leão is carrying AC Milan, and should punt Cristiano Ronaldo off of Portugal
In a lot of ways, AC Milan mirrors Serie A overall. They’re incredibly fun, and were able to take advantage of Juventus’s slide into the abyss and a blip from Inter to win the Scudetto last year. But how good they actually are, much like the league as a whole, is hard to pin down. Considering that t...
I don’t know what Man United is supposed to be
As one of my oldest, closest friends likes to point out whenever ribbing me about something (those closest to you cut the deepest), the saying, “Don’t kick someone while they’re down” makes no sense. After all, they’re that much closer to your foot. ...
What is it Manchester United are trying to do?
At the end of Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s run as Manchester United, they got absolutely dog-walked by Liverpool and Manchester City at home. The combined score was 7-1, but no one would have been surprised had it ended up 17-0. Plenty will tell you it should have. Even for the notoriously directionless ye...
Should Wolves be the fans’ favorite to finish in the top four?
The Premier League might not have much of a title race at the moment (a lot is going to have go right for Liverpool and a lot wrong for City to change that), but it’s relegation fight will be, to quote Jim Ross, “A Saturday night on payday weekend in Muskogee.”...
Man United have the right idea, that doesn’t mean it’ll work
Counting on a horrible blunder to score and holding on for dear life to scrape a 1-1 draw against Chelsea isn’t where Manchester United are supposed to find themselves. But at least admitting that’s what they are is a first step in the right direction in a long time. Having any sort of strategy on t...
And now an unbiased and clear-headed review of Man United vs. Liverpool
PHHHHHHWWWWOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Houdini, thy name is Ole Gunnar
While most every Manchester United supporter you know will scream at you about what a sneaky good manager Ole Gunnar Solskjær is, and certainly never in a tone or volume that will make you think they’re trying to convince themselves as much as they are you, the urge for all of us who don’t support t...
So is Ronaldo to United actually going to work?
You’d think if you were going to take on the burden of bringing back a twice-accused rapist to your club, the hierarchy would have to be pretty sure that it would make a huge difference on the field. But you’re not the Glazer family, who are so desperate to get Manchester United fans to stop burning...
Deadspin Waffles: Should the Bulls trade or keep Lauri Markkanen?
Over a week into free agency, Lauri Markkanen is still looking for his moment of clarity....
Aw nuts, Man United might have figured it out
We should have enjoyed it more, if it is indeed over: the period of time where Manchester United couldn’t stop tripping over its own dick, burned through name managers simply because they had a name, bought mediocre players for astronomic prices simply to appear to be in action, and generally spun t...
That’s what Paul Pogba is supposed to be
It’s always difficult analyzing or discussing Paul Pogba. I’ve found myself on both sides of it just in the past year or two. How good was he at Juventus? Isn’t it easier to play when Claudio Marchisio is doing some of your running and Andrea Pirlo is there to spread passes to you? Maybe, but eight ...
Euro 2021: Joachim Löw might wish he left before last call
We all know it’s hard to leave when you can’t find the door. But sometimes you pay even more when you ignore the door that was right there....
Euro 2021: So how is England going to screw this up?
The English are the Chicago Bears of international soccer. Even though they basically created the sport, and have one of the biggest fan bases as well, they have sat by and watched others pass them as the game changed and evolved, still clinging to what they believed, all the while bleating about th...
More NBA players are beginning to get vaccinated, which is what Kareem Abdul-Jabbar wanted weeks ago
We often discuss progress, but we’re seeing some in the NBA as it relates to vaccinations....
COVID could make next FIFA international window a bigger mess than usual
The club vs. country fight is a long and storied one in soccer, with clubs always more than a little peeved about releasing the players they’re paying millions to travel to different training schedules and medical staffs, for games they aren’t compensated for. Players getting hurt on national team d...
2020 Idiot of the Year Awards: Counting down from 50-41 with Ronaldo, Bolt, Cespedes, and more
UPDATE: We have compiled all 50 items into one handy list, for your reading convenience. It is available here....