canseco Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jose Canseco Is Very Cautious With His Speech
Jose Canseco confounds us, because he's obviously a moron, yet he's pretty much the only guy who's been right about this steroid business from the beginning. It's like learning Charles Nelson Reilly came up with some cinematic innovation 20 years ago. Anyway, he's spouting off again, and this time h...

Jose Canseco, Keeping Us Entertained For Nearly A Quarter Of A Century
Oh, 'tis a sad, sad day indeed when one is outwitted by Jose Canseco. As SportsbyBrooks so dutifly reported over the weekend, the man who once had a baseball bounce off his noggin for a home run has apparently convinced USA Today columnist Michael McCarthy that his non-existent TV reality show, Win ...

Misguided Sports Sartorial Decisions
Just Call Me Juice is doing a clever series in which they ask readers to tell the stories of their most embarrassing, rueful jersey purchases. Unsilent Majority keeps the series going with his gruesome tale of buying a Steve Spurrier Redskins jersey (with the number he wore as a player), though we d...

Jose Canseco Just Can't Catch A Break In This Business
We're trying to imagine something more sad than a once-proud athlete attempting to feed his ravenous need for competition by going against Tucker Carlson on a televised dancing show, and we think we've found it: Begging to be on "Dancing With The Stars" and being refused....

Fever Pitch ... Throughout History
The Sporting News has a good piece about the evolution of pitching, which we read with interest until seeing the dreaded word "gyroball," which tends to provoke in us the same reaction as the word "disco." But until then there are some fun tidbits, such as the fact that until 1881, the distance from...

Finally, Rik Smits And Michael Irvin Come Together
Aside from a cocaine-infused party at a French-Canadian brothel, I can't think of many ventures that could bring together the likes of Michael Irvin, Jose Canseco, Kordell Stewart, Darryl Strawberry and Claude Lemieux. Those four are part of the cast for the new season of Pros vs. Joes on SpikeTV....

Actually, HERE'S Your Next Inspiring Real Life Story
We don't mean to take the piss out of AJ Daulerio's work earlier today, but it turns out that we already know what the next real-life baseball story will be dramatized on the big screen: It's Jose Canseco's!...

Google Video, Jose Canseco And You
We're not sure how we'd react if attacked by a leopard; probably curl up like an armadillo and roll toward the nearest large body of water. But we would hope that it would be a manly, dignified roll. We wouldn't want to go out squealing like a Girl Scout, as you can hear in this video. The reason we...

Canseco Pitching Debut Goes As You Probably Imagined It Would
There are many forms of self delusion. There's Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, who was "training to be a cage fighter." Then there's Jose Canseco, who beaned four batters, walked five and gave up a home run over 4 1/3 innings in his pitching debut with the Long Beach Armada on Wednesday, inspiring thi...

Jose Canseco Gets Familiar With Chico Police
You can take Jose Canseco out of the big leagues, but you can't take the big league out of Jose Canseco. Just hours after his victory in the Golden Baseball League's home run derby, Jose Canseco was involved in some kind of an incident with a woman outside of an Oxford Suites hotel room. No one wa...

Canseco To Unveil His Pitching Wizardry Tonight
Because Jose Canseco is a man who wants to be taken seriously ... because he is a man with pride ... because he once strode with the giants of major league baseball ... he will now take the next logical step in the twilight of his once-great career. He will pitch in the Golden Baseball League All-...

Spend Tonight With The Cansecos
Anyone who might be hanging around the Pittsburgh area over the next few days is encouraged to hit the party to end all parties: The All-Star Ball With The Cansecos!...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Yeah, Call it a Comeback
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of fan mail....

The Glory That Is Jose
OK, we had to dig back into this Jose Canseco asking for a trade....

If You Can Trust Anyone, You Can Trust Jose Canseco
Yesterday, Major League Baseball released a Strongly Worded Statement, making it clear that former Madonna statue Jose Canseco's claims — that Bud Selig and Co. could cover up a positive steroid test if the player (namely, Roger Clemens) were popular enough — "complete nonsense." It is the next in...

Canseco Signs With Surf Dawgs. Of Course.
It's a story that San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy would have been all over like a polyester suit: We were surprised to learn this morning that Jose Canseco has agreed to play minor league baseball with the San Diego Surf Dawgs. Surprised, only because, naturally, we assumed his next move would be...

Jose Canseco Is Staying Active
Outstanding work by the Los Angeles Times this morning; the paper has tracked down Jose Canseco. The steroidal monster, apparently having struck out as an action film star (we're still waiting for someone to get a hold of his famous karate demo tape and send it to us), is playing in the Los Angele...

Jose Canseco & John Rocker Shop At The Same Places
The fine gentlemen at Gaslamp Ball took the above shot of Jose Canseco and John Rocker appearing on The Big Idea with Donny Deutch last evening....

Steroids ... The Musical!
People are taking this steroid stuff too seriously, we think. We're in the midst of reading "Game Of Shadows" right now, and even though it's damning and impeccably sourced and all those Big Serious Important Things, we're also finding it awfully funny. We love Victor Conte, with his stoner musici...

Jose Canseco, Professional Wrestler (Of Course)
We're not even going to pretend to be surprised here: Jose Canseco is rumored to making an appearance at Wrestlemania this spring. Perhaps it is telling that the people who are most concerned about this development are not baseball fans, but wrestling fans. Seems like the WWE — remember, that's wh...