dan Page 271 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

USC Kicker Mario Danelo Found Dead
I hate to interrupt the festive mood of the Romo/Glenn meltdown, but there's tragic news in the world of college football tonight. Mario Danelo, kicker for the Rose Bowl champion USC Trojans, has been found dead....

Hirshey Quickie: On Zidane, Saddam And Hair
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Michael Jordan Clears Himself of Excess Baggage
Well, now I get to post while drinking. Fun. For your information, I'm drinking Yuengling because I'm at my parent's house and it's a choice between this and lactose free milk....

Dan Shanoff Redux: Who's Up for a Quickie?
A one time annual event, Dan Shanoff has graciously offered up his end of year, hot/not list for perusal/debate that was headed for the internet vapor since his Daily Quickie column was shutdown by those smoldering cuntrags at ESPN. After the jump, follow Shanoff's ghost to prepare yourself with thi...

Oh Miller Don't Wanna Dance With Somebody
And thankfully, I won't have to watch him feel the heat with somebody. With somebody who (somebody who) loves him. Sigh....

Dan Shanoff's "Deadspin Night Before Christmas"
Those of you familiar with this time of year around the ole Four Letter Word network have probably become accustomed to the yearly Sports Night Before Christmas poem written by Daily Quickie scribe Dan Shanoff. (Lord, he'd been there since 2001. Holy cow.) Well, as most of you know, Dan's no longe...

The Matsuzaka Has Landed
Well, the world of Red Sox fans can breathe a sliver easier this morning; Daisuke Matsuzaka has signed his (reasonable, really) deal and is now officially a target of the Boston faithful. We find it amusing that one of the first things he had to do when his plane landed was undergo a physical; tur...

Dan Marino, The Early Broadcasting Years
We'd never seen this old video, of Dan Marino, back in the Len Dawson "Inside The NFL" days, making a verbal flub and kind of getting a little pissy about it. (When you've scared Len Dawson, you've scared the world.) It's from 2000, when Marino was first trying out as a broadcaster — and was, and is...

Hey, Somebody Wake Up Jordan Already
As we enter Day, what, 15? of the Where's Iverson Gonna Get Traded? countdown — we think it's a shame they can't find a way to get him to Minnesota, and we can't fathom why it makes sense to send him to Boston — we look back at yesterday's big news. Supposedly, Iverson turned down a trade to the Cha...

The Dance Craze That's SWEEPING THE NATION
We'd like to thank Mister Irrelevant for introducing our Meat Loaf-loving asses to the dance craze that's sweeping dorm rooms across the country: It's "Da Heizman On Dat Ho," a Heisman Trophy-inspired ditty and rompstomp that all the kids are doing. We think this is a dance we are capable of doing; ...

Emmitt Smith, You Are A Champion! The Emptiness Is Temporarily Gone!
It appears that American can finally release its collective tension: "Dancing With The Stars" has finally crowned a winner. And it's none other than ... Emmitt Smith! Yes, the former Cowboys (and Buzzsaw) running back emerged victorious last night, barely edging out Mario Lopez, and any contest in...

Dan Patrick, Celebrity Golf Interview Dork Dodger
We'll confess to having less of a problem with Dan Patrick than we do with some of the other Bristol folks; he's got a little smugness to him, but on the whole, we don't think he's one of the bad guys....

Etan Thomas Has Got Your Peace RIGHT HERE
When Washington Wizards forward Etan Thomas isn't busy extolling the virtues of Abe Pollin's prostate in lyrical poem form or reminding us that David Stern doesn't care about black people, apparently, he whittles away the hours getting in fights with teammate Brendan Haywood....

Ain't No Love In The Loo
As many have pointed out already, the World Series didn't just decide who the 2006 champion was; it apparently established the most dangerous city in America. If the national anthem singers at Busch Stadium are to be trusted, this shouldn't be too much of a surprise. The nasty turf wars between Bill...

The Best Joke Book Since Henny Youngman's
In what was probably inevitable, Marco Materazzi is writing a book about the experience of Zidane's head in his chest, and it's full of "joke" comments that might have set Zidane off....

Ah ... When The Catchphrases Felt Only SLIGHTLY Warmed Over
Here's your little blast for the past today: As difficult as it is to believe that Hootie and the Blowfish were ever considered cool — we're not sure that actually ever happened — it's, these days, just as difficult to comprehend ESPN being, you know, down with the kids. These two unique cultural cu...

Bringing ESPN Tricks To The Amusement Park World
Former ESPN exec Mark Shapiro, the man responsible for Stephen A. Smith, Skip Bayless, "Teammates," so on — left the network on October 1 to join Redskins owner Daniel Snyder in the running of the Six Flags amusement park franchise, as CEO. The reviews on his performance so far have been been mixed ...

Smiles, Everyone! Smiles!
As we mentioned Tuesday, FIFA president Sepp Bladder wants to get Marco Materazzi and Zinedine Zidane together on an island for a final reconcilliation concerning the infamous World Cup head-butting incident. But after a full 24 hours of being mocked by the British tabloids, this crackpot scheme may...

And Somewhere, Fred Smoot Sheds A Tear
The country is England, the sport is "Conger Cuddling," and the athlete pictured here is pointing his ... wait a minute ... no! His eel! He's preparing to toss an eel! You people are disgusting sometimes....

Hirshey Quickie: And Just For Kicks, Bring Your Sister
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....