dont Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Night Time Is The Right Time
It's been confirmed that David Beckham will not start tonight in his debut with the LA Galaxy, however he has indicated that he will suit up and play. The questions remaining are at what point will he enter the game, and how long will his tender pussy ankle allow him to go on. Blah blah blah. The re...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while you wait for Jemaine, Bret and Murray ... • Awards: ESPYS. $10 says Tomlinson wins four trophies. [ESPN] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 8. Amazing asphalt on this leg. [Versus] • Movie: Rocky V. Oh, it happened it, Bill. It. Happened. [ESPN Classic]...
Is This The End For Our Hero?
We didn't get a chance to get into this yesterday, but we really need to give a full-throated, stand-up salute to Julio Franco, who very well might have played his final game....
A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...
ESPN Is Just CRAWLING With Sexual Harassers
On his radio show Friday, ESPN fella Dan LeBatard, because he's out in Miami and apparently no one in Bristol listens out there, had a few choice words to say about the Woody Paige, "Cold Pizza" sexual harassment case. He called ESPN "filled with sexual harassment" and said "it's actually funny." An...
The Pirates Mascot Loves The Onion Rings
It can be difficult to keep the fans entertained at PNC Park in Pittsburgh, so they've tried a new technique: reenacting already historic television scenes. We might not know the official ending, but we know how it really ends: The Pirates lose....
We're Tellin' Ya, Life Ain't Easy For A Boy Named Grewcock
If there's anything we've learned from the Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue, it's that an embarrassing name makes you a lot tougher. A case in point seems to be England rugby player Danny Grewcock, who has roamed from town to town to hide his shame....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to parallel park ... • MLB: Milagro Beanball War continues: Braves 5, Cubs 4. • Tennis: Nadal beats Federer for French Open title. Cue the Spanish National Anthem! • NBA: "Bring Out LeBroom," Spurs take 2-0 lead on Cavaliers....
Roll On, Big Cheese, Roll On
If it somehow slipped your mind that Monday was the annual Gloucestershire Cheese Roll, don't worry; we're on the story. In the interests of full disclosure, though, we have to tell you that the video above is from last year's event. For this year's results, go here. So much to love in the video, ho...
Jason Giambi Is The Only Man Who's Honest About Steroids
We find it incredibly strange that Jason Giambi is, once again, back at the forefront of the drugs-in-baseball debate. After all, has there ever been a more effective advertisement for the benefits of performance enhancing drugs than Jason Giambi?...
Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...
People Losing Their Life's Savings ... Live On NBC!
It's a logical idea whose time has obviously come: Televised golf wagering. In a move that could only be made by a network desperate after missing out on the Barbaro documentary, NBC is going to televise a full golf tournament made entirely of degenerate gamblers. And Fox is doing it too....
The Patriots Are Dominating Free Agency
I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable with how the New England Patriots are spending money this off-season. The Patriots are a threat to win the Super Bowl when they aren't spending money. Adding Adalius Thomas, Wes Welker, Kyle Brady and now Donte Stallworth to the mix... it just makes me terribly...
Tommy Morrison Most Healthy Undercard Winner Last Night
Well, they actually let Tommy Morrison — who pretty much everybody knows has HIV, save for himself, a couple of his doctor friends and some West Virginia boxing board members — fight last night, and, lo and behold, he won, knocking out John Castle in his first fight in 11 years. Castle had admitted ...
Good Morning: Hold Everything You Love...Deadspin Returns to the Super Bowl
Greetings, Spinheads. Today's our final day together, and before we break out the huffing supplies and begin a rousing game of alligator fuckhouse, I have a quick announcement: I'd like to let all parties in the Miami area know that I've once again been permitted to display my on-the-scene reporting...
Five Hours Ago, Dontrelle REALLY Had To Pee
That marriage ... (sips imaginary glass of bourbon) ... it's a tough racket. Just two weeks after getting married, Marlins pitcher (and awfully likable fellow) Dontrelle Willis has already discovered something about the institution: It'll drive you to drink. At 4 a.m. this morning in South Beach, Wi...
Buy Dontrelle Willis Some Dishware
We don't want to be known as some kind of Negative Nellie in the world of sports; we like sunshine and rainbows and all kinds of pretty things that might or might not have tails. We support nice happy stories, like anything involving the Marlins' Dontrelle Willis, whom could very well be the most ...
Vancouver Ready To Welcome More Weird-Ass Olympic Events
We had a crazy dream last night. The IOC was making up Winter Olympic sports, and approving them in their meeting in Kuwait City. Yeah we know, off the wall. But ... huh? You're kidding. Skicross?...