e Page 7811 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of John Wall Elbow-Punching Zydrunas Ilgauskas In The Ribs Tonight
It's videos like this that make America wish Erik Spoelstra was a little more like Jeff Van Gundy and Zydrunas Ilgauskas emulated Alonzo Mourning. Oh, both Wall and Ilgauskas got thrown out and the Heat won....

Michael Irvin Wants To Restore 80s-Style Discipline To Miami Football
Today, University of Miami (by way of North Philadelphia) football coach Al Golden took to Twitter with a major announcement. It involved "U Discipline," his desire to "Uphold The Legacy," and a quote from human-hurricane Michael Irvin....

Alleged Gang Rape Of Daughter Drives Former Pro Rugby Player To Decapitating Axe Murder
While South African officials aren't identifying him by name, this much is clear: A 34-year-old former player for the Blue Bulls rugby team has been arrested "in connection with at least three axe murders."...

<em>Madden NFL 12</em> Said to Include Concussions to Present a Safety Message
Remarkably, Madden NFL 12 will depict players suffering concussions, according to the president of the NFL Players' Association, but apparently in a manner that reinforces the seriousness of the injury and the message that playing through one is not a… [Kotaku] ...

Here's Tim Tebow's New Jockey Ad, Kind Of
With apologies to King Herod, we've provided a slight edit to possible NFL starter and definite advertising boon Tim Tebow's brand new Jockey ad. The company released this spot today, and it is somehow even more reverential and vanilla than we ever could have imagined it to be. When Tim Tebow is m...

We Heard From The Robot, And It Wrote A Better Story About That Perfect Game
This morning we covered Will Roberts, the University of Virginia player who threw a perfect game yesterday. More specifically, the game story at GWSports.com, which only bothered to mention the little fact of 27-up-27-down in the penultimate paragraph....

Broken, Bitter Isiah Thomas Still Loves The Game
Loves basketball. Wants to be in it forever. Not so much love for his once and future rivals, Jordan, Bird, Magic....

Short White Guy Will Dunk On National TV
Jacob Tucker, the 5'11" Division III YouTube sensation, officially received his invite to the College Slam Dunk Contest, to be held tomorrow night in Houston. You did it, you dogged internet voters. You made a young man's dream come true. (Not Rico Cunningham, the other DIII dunker nominee. You st...

Roberto Clemente's 3,000th Hit, In Glorious Graphic-Novel Form
The following is excerpted from Santiago's 21: The Story of Roberto Clemente, a gorgeous graphic-novel biography of the martyred baseball great. Clemente got his 3,000th hit on Sept. 30, 1972, three months before he died in a plane crash. You can watch video of No. 3,000 here; Santiago's rendering b...

John Calipari Celebrates His First Final Four Appearance, Technically
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: maybe he'll get to keep this one! Kentucky coach John Calipari joined Sporting News Radio w...

We Are All Dave McKenna LV (Pencil Dick Piñata Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets busted up like a Mexican birthday effigy....

Cats vs. Dogs: Your Last Chance To Determine The Elite Eight
It's the final day of the March Madness Sweet Sixteen, meaning that there's just one spot left for a competitor from each conference. Who's going to be? Grab your razors, because it's going to be a close shave. [Jezebel]...

Purdue Is Sorry They Blamed Cheap Purdue Donors For Matt Painter’s Possible Departure
A day after sending out a letter that more or less blamed its boosters for men's basketball coach Matt Painter's meeting with Missouri officials, the Purdue athletic department sent out a hasty (or, as tipster and proud Mackey Challenge donor BigTenObsession calls it, "weaksauce") apology to its mai...

Jose Canseco's Latest Tragicomedy Plays Out On Boston Radio
The controversy over Jose Canseco's no-show at one of his silly celebrity boxing matches has reached almost a full week of coverage thanks to the public piss-off between Jose and promoter Damon Feldman. Did Jose knowingly dick over the fight promoter and send his twin brother Ozzie to fight for him...

Four Cans Of Corn Will Get You Two Tickets To A Timberwolves Game
Attention, fans of canned vegetables who will also tolerate watching the Minnesota Timberwolves play a game of basketball: buy four Butter Kernel cans of your choosing for a bargain three dollars (string beans, collard greens, you name it), and you can get two tickets to see the 17-53 Timberwolves i...

Scott Raab Shaved "QUITNESS" Into His Head For LeBron's Return
Esquire's Scott Raab, whose LeBron Watch here chronicled Cleveland's inevitable doom last summer, still is not quite cool with LeBron James, the Whore of Akron....

Ken Rosenthal Will Wear A Bow Tie All Year
We generally appreciate Rosenthal, even if he does on occasion throw some shit at the wall. We're therefore delighted to see he'll be making the bow tie a permanent addition to the wardrobe, at least for this season. And it's for a good cause....

The Cavs Got Their 15th Win Last Night, And It Happened To Be Over The Miami Heat
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat at home last night, 102-90, for just their fifteenth win of the season. For the 51-23 Heat, who clinched a playoff spot over two weeks ago and just have to survive the remainder of the season without a significant injury, this was really just another sli...

Boxer Teon Kennedy Gets His Face Rearranged
Jorge Diaz lost this fight by unanimous decision in Atlantic City last Saturday, but he also landed this evil left that momentarily turned Teon Kennedy into a mutant Steve Urkel. From a different angle:...

Gregg Easterbrook Puts The Final, Retarded Exclamation Point On Obama's Bracketology-Gate
You only need to see the headline and the byline to know what you're in for with yesterday's breathtakingly pointless Easterbrook essay about President Obama filling out a March Madness bracket. Yes, some people are still actually debating this. BLACKIEHUSSEINBRACKETGATE! Let's dive in, shall we? ...