e Page 7840 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pizza Shop Bandit Leaves Hansel-And-Gretel Trail Of Sauce, Chips
And they knew him by the trail of Doritos and pizza sauce. They, being the Ventura County Sheriff's Department. Him, being Taylor Christopher Jackson who allegedly broke into a Domino's pizzeria in Ojai, Cal. But how did they know?...

We Are All Dave McKenna XXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets drawn-and-quartered in the town square....

High School Wrestler's Vision Quest Involves A 400-Pound Tiger
Kaz Dymek is so totally stoked by his chance to become a Sarasota, Fla. high school's first state wrestling champion that he's sparring with "Old Buck" who, per the Herald-Tribune, "weighs 400 pounds, eats 30 pounds of meat a day, growls with a ferocity that can peel paint, and is a Bengal tiger."...

Newspaper That Once Libeled British Footballer Now Reports He Shot An Intern
Has Ashley Cole become to News Of The World what the Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle was to Ralphie? Tempting. Teasing. Irresistible....

John Wooden's Benchwarming Great Grandson Hits The Last Basket At UCLA's Pauley Pavilion
As feel-good endings to basketball-arena timelines go, what happened yesterday at UCLA's slated-for-renovation Pauley Pavilion is scripted perfectly. In the building where his great grandfather, the late John Wooden, coached eight national-championship teams, Tyler Trapani made his third on-court ...

Drug Rumors Morph Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett Into The Next Ryan Leaf
At the Indianapolis scouting combines, the press asked NFL aspirant Ryan Mallett about the "heavy rumors of drug use and [if] possible addiction kept him from coming out for the 2010 draft." Those "heavy rumors" stem from an article by Tony Softli, a former NFL executive in Carolina and St. Louis, ...

Rip Hamilton Yelled At Coach John Kuester So Hard The Younger Pistons Were Mortified
Your morning roundup for Feb. 27, the day that Earth's show-business sect finally recognizes all that Queen Amidala of Naboo has done for them, and for all the rebellion....

Charlie Sheen Puts Lenny Dykstra In A Position "Where I'm Actually Ready To Make A Big Move In My Life"
The Lenny Dykstra/Charlie Sheen revival tour can't do nothing but gather steam. Just two days after Dykstra vouched for the coke-fueled genius that is Sheen, they took to the radio waves to "set the record straight on the myriad of exaggerations, misinformation and outright falsehoods about his li...

Dave Duerson's Funeral Was Held In Chicago Today
Eight days after his teammate committed suicide, former Chicago Bear Richard Dent was among those who carried Dave Duerson's casket into a South Side Baptist church for a memorial service and funeral today. Hundreds of mourners attended. Duerson's youngest son Brock offered one of several eulogies....

Soccer Medic Helps Others Through The Healing Power Of Somersaults
Here he comes to save the day. That means Daniel de Sousa Araújo, medic for Brazilian soccer team Comercial-PI, is on the way. This video's from a Copa do Brasil game earlier this week. He takes the time to show off his rather-subpar gymkata moves before tending to an injured player....

Jimmer Defeats San Diego State Fans Kim Jong-il And Miley Cyrus, Basketball Team
Neither being triple-teamed nor an opponent's revenge angle nor fans who claimed to have "some images of Jimmer as a chubby teenager" kept Jimmer Fredette from the swift completion of his appointed rounds. Today, that meant dropping 25 points on San Diego State University in BYU's 80-67 win over th...

Your Guide to Video Gaming’s Sportspocalypse 2011
Sportspocalypse. Sportsmageddon. Spörtsnarök? Whatever you want to call it, the coming month is packed with sports video game releases - a seven-way showdown of licensed sports titles in a month that normally sees only two baseball games. How'd we get [Kotaku] Kotaku at 02/26/2011 15:47:20...

Fifth Grader Wins 500 Pizza Bucks With Half-Court Shot
At a Kennesaw State (Ga.) men's basketball game the other night, 11-year-old Cody Collins was challenged to drain a half-court shot during a media timeout, with Pizza For A Year at stake. He did it. But, if I were Papa John's, I'd challenge anyone to find irrefutable evidence that he didn't foot-fou...

It's A Laugh Riot When A Child Drives A Golf Ball Straight Into Commentator's Genitals
As he prepared to stand before some preteens at the Dallas-area J. Erik Jonsson Community School, CBS golf reporter (and former pro) David Feherty noted that "I still have my dignity."...

Phillies Prospect Upset That Coke Charges Brought His Character Into Question
When young outfielder Tyson Gillies came to the Phillies organization via the 2009 Cliff Lee-to-Seattle trade, they probably didn't expect that cops would find him on the side of the road waving his shirt all happy-like, and cocaine in the backseat of the car in which the cop drove him home. But th...

Your Good Day For College Basketball Fans Open Thread
Syracuse at Georgetown is about to tip off. The game comes about two weeks after the Hoyas won in the Land of Orange, but they'll be without Chris Wright, whose 93-consecutive-starts streak will end....

We Are All Dave McKenna XXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit dissipates like any financial worry No. 23 DeAngelo Hall had when Danny Boy signed him to a six-year, $54 million deal in 2009....

The Detroit Pistons Went With A Malcontent-Free Six-Man Roster Last Night
Your morning roundup for Feb. 26, the day San Francisco starts looking for messages in the snow....

Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....

Mets Owners Max Out MLB's Credit Line, Start Putting Stuff On Their Mom's Neiman Marcus Card
It's official, everybody: the Mets are broke. Wait, you knew that already. But now they're officially really, really broke. They're so broke, they just put all their CDs and VHS tapes up for auction. Where else will you find Jungle 2 Jungle and its soundtrack in one place, both lightly used? Well, B...