e Page 7865 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jack LaLanne Tried To Kill His Brother With An Ax, And Other Fond Memories
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the late Jack LaLanne, fitness televangelist....

Checking Back In With Those Ridiculous NHL Superheroes
They're rolling out the remainder of the NHL's Guardian Project, and yes, our worst fears are realized. The Maple Leaf superhero is a tree....

If This Packer Fan Is Indeed Drinking His Own Urine, This Video Might Be Really Gross
Or it might be apple juice; who knows. Either way, that he wants the world to believe he's going all Bear Grylls with his own piss shows an impressive commitment to the team....

Is It Better Or Worse That The "Jew" York Jets Typo Happened In Kentucky?
Stereotypes helping stereotypes over at WLKY. [LouisvilleKY.com]...

According To One Anonymous Witness, There Was Ultra-Violence Against Pack Fans At Soldier Field (UPDATE)
Hopefully, there's some major embellishment going on in this Craig's List apology letter from a Chicago fan or else it appears one Cheesehead got the "Chinatown" treatment yesterday....

This Isn't How You're Supposed To Lift A Guy On A Stretcher
I don't know who this player is or how he hurt himself, but I do know this video is about five Leslie Nielsen movies rolled into one. [Via Twitter]...

Weekend Winner: Jay Cutler, Safety Last
All the furor over Jay Cutler spending the second half on the bench is proof positive that the battle for player safety is an uphill one, and won't be solved with posters and PSAs....

Yep, Rashard Mendenhall Really Used Ben Roethlisberger Like An Inflatable Sex Toy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Samurai Sword Helps Prevent A Robbery
When 52-year-old Brad Grayland Vinson set out to allegedly rob a Shell Station in Columbia, SC, he probably didn't realize the clerk kept a samurai sword handy. Now, he's saddled with charges stemming from an alleged robbery spree, reports WLTX....

Yep, Mark Sanchez Really Used Mark Brunell Like A Snot Rag
S, N, O, T. Snot! Snot! Snot! Several of you have sent this in. American heroes, one and all. (But this one came from Royce.)...

Your AFC Championship Game Open Thread
Tipster "Dr. Yunzer" kindly sent a link to a column by a Steelers fan who put some of his late father's ashes on the Heinz Field turf. One of those "sports are bigger than just sports" messages. [Post Gazette]...

Guy Expresses His Jets Disdain Through Dessert (And More)
Felipe Lopez took it upon himself to share a little story with us via email today. He's going to a "shindig" at his "buddy's house." Felipe will take it from there....

Your NFC Championship Game Open Thread
There has been no shortage of links sent in about this game. Links about tattoos. And white kids rapping about how Wisconsin weather is super hardcore. And cooked bear meat. And old-heads trying to sing....

British Soccer Commentators Accused Of Harboring "Appalling And Damaging Sexist Attitudes"
Sky Sports' Andy Gray and Richard Keys apparently didn't realize their mics were on prior to yesterday's match between Liverpool and Wolverhampton....

Here's Video Of A Lady Draining An 85-Foot Three Pointer
University of the Cumberlands guard Stephanie Quattrociocchi's highlight-reel shot gave her team a 34-27 halftime lead over Campbellsville U. Mattered little. Campbellsville ruled the second half and won 73-60....

The Record For Worst Televised Bowling Ever Was Set Yesterday
In the semifinals of the Professional Bowlers Association Tournament of Champions in Vegas on Saturday, Tom Daugherty needed every ball at his disposal to reach 100 in his televised-bowling debut. His foe, Mika Koivuniemi, needed them to reach 299....

Kansas State Basketball Doesn't Bother Spelling Freshman's Name Rigth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hardcore 302-Pound Fan Likes Bear-Themed Body Painting
Michael Lyp is a really big Chicago Bears fan. Like, 302-pound big. Which means it takes much product for his gameday body-painting rituals. Says the Chicago Tribune, “he stands out in the vibrant tapestry of fans at Soldier Field.”...

D.C. Woman Commits Her Life To Hiding Bras
Here's a very special report about a garment that employs special buttons to prevent the bra-exposing "blouse gape" scourge. What inspired the "inventor"? Picking out proper wardrobe to work at a lobbying firm....

Here's Video Evidence Of How Jets Fans Purportedly "Roll"
Claiming to be a "trained professional," this Jets fan jumps off a roof into a pile of snow. He dedicates his actions to "Jets fans everywhere" before noting that "this is how we roll."...