e Page 7906 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Weekend Winner: The Big East, College Sports' Honest Harlot
TCU, a school approximately 400 miles west of the Mississippi, will soon play sports in a conference called the Big East, FanHouse informs. You have to admire the Big East. It never fails to be the hardest-working lapdancer in the room....

Before The Storm, After The Sunshine Band: The Prelude To Disco Demolition Night
Our attention was brought to this collection of 35 rare photos taken prior to a Tigers/White Sox game on July 12, 1979. Not hours later, Comiskey Park would play host to the figurative end of the 70s, and the closest thing to a riot at an American sporting event since....

Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....

Russell Westbrook Posterizes Shane Battier With Vicious Slam
Midway through last night's Thunder-Rockets game, Kevin Durant swung the ball out to Russell Westbrook who drove straight to the hoop and elevated for a dunk that straight embarrassed alleged defensive maestro Shane Battier....

University of Maryland Starts First Competitive Eating Team
"Feed the turtle" is the motto of Maryland's competitive eating club, which gained university recognition last week. We're just shocked it wasn't a Big Ten school....

Yeah, This Is The Best Interception We've Ever Seen
While most of the country was being treated to a meaningless Notre Dame-USC game, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State had themselves a barn burner. Unseen by most of the country? This gem: a tag-team interception by State's Broderick Brown and Shaun Lewis....

Pink Blackberry Cover Girl Is Not Jen Patterson, Jen Patterson Says
I-Team mystery solved. Please have the report on my desk by noon tomorrow. [JenPatterson's Twitter]...

Name That Mascot Dong, Pt. 2 (UPDATE: Lighthouse Penis Speaks, Gets Kicked In The Groin)
This weekend we brought you the phallic-shaped cannon now representing the Columbus Blue Jackets. UMass-Boston might one-up them with "Beacon," who's clearly a bipedal penis....

Tom Brady Going Bald, In Latest Dumb Rumor Sure To Dominate The News This Week
Brady was spotted at a hair transplant clinic in Rhode Island earlier this month, according to a tabloid report. The evidence is thin, sure. But is it as thin as Tom Brady's thinning hair?...

At FSU-Florida Tailgates, Beer-Bonging May Be Interrupted By An Ass-Jiggling Gal Falling Off A Pick-up Truck
Hopefully, the poor girl in the huge sunglasses got to finally suck down that funnel she'd been diligently training for all day. She seemed rattled. [YouTube]...

Peter King Only Drives The Favremobile On Weekends
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Steve Johnson's Dropped Pass Has Caused Him To Seriously Rethink His Devotion To A Higher Power
The usually sure-handed wide out comes to the realization that, no matter how hard he prays, there are powerful forces working against the Buffalo Bills. Nobody circles the wagons like Almighty God. [Twitter]...

Saddest News Ever: Leslie Nielsen Passes Away
Yes, the deadpan-est of deadpan comedic actors is now dead. DUAN! varmints, please give him a fond farewell in the comments section by reciting your favorite Drebin/Dr. Alan Rumack lines.That would be me...I've been swimming in raw sewage. [Hollywood Reporter]...

Here's A Spirited Defense Of "Colored" Tiger Woods Which Condemns Brett Favre, SI, Dumb Parents And America
Words beyond "offended but strangely mesmerized" escape me after reading this email that came in at 12:31 a.m. yesterday. Spent a day and a half debating whether I should even post it. You decide whether I made the right call....

Real Madrid And Barcelona Could Provide The Best Soccer Game On Earth Tomorrow
It's a waste of time to try and convince soccer haters of the excellence that tomorrow's el Clasico between Ronaldo's Real Madrid and Messi's Barcelona potentially offers. It's also unnecessary to remind fans of the 2:55-ish p.m. EST start....

Who Is Pink Blackberry Cover Girl?
Upon seeing the photo from this morning's Wake Up Deadspin post about Chicago Blackhawk John Scott beating Kings enforcer Kevin Westgarth into bloody submission, astute reader Anarchy Salad posed a very interesting scenario....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
There's been a lot of Mike Vick talk this week. Probably because he's the most interesting non-concussion NFL story. Living 10 miles from where he works creates an inherent bias, though. So, is Vick's "comeback" the top storyline?...

Here's Video Of A Texan Fighting A Titan
Texans wide receiver Andre Johnson and Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan mixed it up today. Both got tossed out. Look....

Here's Video Of Derrick Rose Making Tyreke Evans Play The Role Of "Revolving Door"
It's not quite at the level of Blake Griffin's various posterizations of the opposition, but the Bulls' Derrick Rose leaves the Kings' Tyreke Evans with no other excuse than "Um, uh, the floor was slippery" on this fourth-quarter drive....

This Is What It Looks Like When Sneaky Machines Practice Rising Up
CBC Sports announcers Scott Oakes and Kevin Weekes almost got run over by a Zamboni before the San Jose Sharks/Edmonton Oilers game last night. Here's video of it. (HT Greg Wyshynski)...