e Page 7908 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Watching My Shirtless, Bloody Friend Hug His Grandma At 9 A.M. Was Pretty Awesome"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
So, Yeah, Auburn's Losing By A Lot
It's 24-7 Alabama at halftime of the Iron Bowl. We're 30 minutes away from the BCS shitstorm to end all BCS shitstorms. At least the NCAA could take their time with the Cam Newton investigation....
*WINNER*: "Then I Get The More Awesome Idea Of Giving Him A Blow Job In His Girlfriend's Bathroom."
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
"Brawl For It All 2008"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings...
Barack Obama Needs Stitches After Busting Lip During Thanksgiving Basketball Game
The president took 12 stitches after getting hit in the mouth during a friendly game of hoops yesterday. Probably shouldn't have invited Bill Laimbeer. [AP]...
Everybody's Working For The (Long) Weekend
I'm betting a large number of you are reading this from your office, thanks to some asshole boss who doesn't see why you should have the day off when 90 percent of the rest of the world does. Let's commiserate....
My Asian Roommate Stole My Handjob!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Someone Alleges The Patriots Are Dirty Players; Sun Rises In The East
Lions QB Shaun Hill says that some New England player tried to re-break his previous broken arm during a scrum. As long as it wasn't helmet to helmet, we'll allow it. [MLive]...
Bleacher Report Is Hiring!
Bleacher Report is looking for an experienced copy chief to manage their staff of 30 copy editors....
All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
Poor Amanda Shit Her Pants While Passed Out In the Backseat
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...
Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....
Unfortunately, Not Everyone Likes Lionel Messi
With his hilarious Monkees hair cut and preposterous skills, you'd think that everyone would adore Messi. Not so this tough guy Fonz impersonator. Ouch....
Derek Jeter Is Better Than Anyone Else At Overrating Derek Jeter
Per Bill Madden of New York Daily News: "But sources close to the Jeter/Close camp have said their starting point was six years, $150 million and that they aren't budging on $25 million per year." [NYDN]...
Depressed Pilgrims Encapsulate The Lions Thanksgiving Tradition
That's seven straight losses for Detroit on Turkey Day, and don't expect them to lose the Thursday slot any time soon. At the very least, maybe the league could schedule them for a high school homecoming game. [Where's Weems]...
Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....
The First NBA Mugshot Of The Holiday Season Has Arrived
Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi and his girlfriend were both charged with domestic assault early yesterday morning. Police arrested both because they had two conflicting stories. Very conflicting....
The White Trashiest Family Ever Hopes You Had A Good Thanksgiving
Is that not the greatest photo ever? Insane Clown Posse tattoo? Check. Pro wrestling t-shirt? Check. Weed t-shirt? Check. Pregnant belly busting out over unbuttoned pants? Damn right, check. Do I even need to tell you this photo was taken at a Mötley Crüe concert?...
Your "Jason Garrett For NFL Coach Of The Year If He Wins Out" Open Thread
This had all the makings of a "marquee" match-up but now it's a showcase for Dez Bryant to solidify himself as the second Best Football Player In The Universe Ever. More memorable Cowboy Turkey Day games are listed here....