e Page 7921 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paul Pierce Joins Kareem and Kurt Rambis In The Pantheon Of Great NBA Eyewear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

IOC Keeps Stuffing Its Head Up Its Ass With Doping Policy
When athletes blame failed drug tests on protein supplements, I usually call bullshit. But in this story, U.S. swimmer Jessica Hardy missed the '08 Olympics because of a nutritional supplement, and now, she may also miss the London Games. This is bullshit!...

BREAKING: No-Pants Guy In Vikings Organization Is Not Dennis Polian, Polian's Attorney Says
We have it on good authority that the individual above with the spooky glare and the compression shorts is NOT Dennis Polian. Here's why:...

Blake Griffin Falls Victim To Shake Weight Menace
Prior to last night's Clippers-Spurs game, Blake Griffin was spotted in the Clips' locker room using a Shake Weight, 2010's funniest piece of exercising equipment. It's funny because things that remind people of penises are funny. You see?...

Happy Veterans Day! Here Are Some Really Happy Dogs Welcoming Soldiers Home
Inspired by the smart folks at mental_floss, we've put together a little video in observance of Veterans Day: a compilation of excited dogs greeting their owners upon their return from basic training or service overseas....

The Confessions Of A Misery Voyeur: Your Guest Jamboroo
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Our own Katie Baker is filling in for him this week....

Bleacher Report Suspends Cam Newton
Of course, there's the possibility that BR has the exclusive and we just look like fools here. But that's not a world I want to live in. [Bleacher Report Google Cache, h/t Josh]...

Jenn Sterger Meets With NFL
Sterger sat down with NFL investigators today and "[provided] them with substantial materials in our possession." Your move now, Cam Newton. Wait, what? [NY Post]...

NFL Pension Decided By Bigamy Laws
A judge ruled that the pension for former Eagles RB Tom Sullivan goes to his first wife rather than his second, because he didn't bother divorcing in between. This is why Vegas and Utah will never get pro teams. [Tribune]...

Lady Hockey Fan Has Superpowers When Drunk
So that's what women do when they go to the restroom together....

Cops Using Steelers Van As Bait
Constables in Western Pennsylvania have had a tough time getting people to open their doors to serve them with arrest warrants. Solution: lure 'em out with the old black and gold....

Rick Reilly Writes A Lot About Moms, And Other Things Determined By Science
Ben Blatt of the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective used word frequency and Bayesian statistics to determine, well, nothing really except that Rick Reilly, Bill Simmons, and Jason Whitlock write like Reilly, Simmons, and Whitlock, respectively. But he found some cool stuff, too....

Gilbert Arenas Opens Up About Crapping In People's Shoes
In January, in a Gilbert Arenas feature for the Washington Post, Mike Wise and Michael Lee casually noted that Gil, a renowned locker room prankster, "once defecated in teammate Andray Blatche's shoe." It's brushed over pretty quickly and the article moves on....

Three Timeless Pieces Of Americana: Yankee Stadium, Army, And Rooting Against Notre Dame
Yankee Stadium is readied for next weekend's Army-Notre Dame game. Word of advice: don't let Jeter play a zone D. [Twitter]...

Jim Calhoun Says "We May Have Broken Rules...But We Did Not Cheat"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The UConn coach makes very little sense about the NCAA's investigation....

A Behind-The-Scenes Look At The Making Of A Sexy Los Angeles Rams Music Video In 1986
The 1980s were good for a lot of things, but there was perhaps no greater innovation of that decade than football teams recording theme songs. "The Super Bowl Shuffle" is widely considered the high point, but what was the genre's nadir?...

Demolition Goes Wrong: Smokestack Falls The Wrong Way
A 300-foot tower at an abandoned power plant tumbled the wrong way during demolition yesterday, taking out buildings and power lines but thankfully no people. [WKYC]...

Pelle Lindbergh Died 25 Years Ago Today
There are sports deaths that sting in just about every city. Munson. Clemente. Piccolo. Bias. The whole Marshall football program. Well, today really stings Philadelphia, and Flyers fans in particular....

Ugly Pot Calls Ugly Kettle Ugly
Joakim Noah says Kevin Garnett is "ugly."...

CNN Gives Us The Mother Of All Telestrator Dongs
Everything about this picture is ideal: facial expressions, hand gestures, and, especially, telestrator dong placement (TDP). Why, this telestrator dong was so perfect, The Daily Show got in on the fun. Video after the jump....