e Page 7923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Heat Strokes, Game 8: The Haters' Wet Dream
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Bayer Leverkusen’s Sidney Sam Scores An Absolute Pearler
And Sidney's wasn't even the best name on show in Leverkusen's 3-1 win over Kaiserslautern on Sunday — this crack canceled out an opener from defender Florian Dick....

Now We Know Where Grady Sizemore's Coffee Mug Dong Shots Came From
When an athlete's self-taken nude photos get out, they always claim it's because someone hacked their computer. This might be the first case where it turned out to be true....

Les Miles And The Elusive Art Of Clapping
Les Miles is many things: grass-eater, clock-mismanager, pretty good recruiter, and, as this video shows, an awful, awful clapper. ...

Last Night's Winner: The Indiana Pacers' <em>NBA Jam</em> Third Quarter
When a player gets a hot hand in basketball, whether through the sheer gully-ness of Mark Price in NBA Jam or a real example, it's a sight to behold. When a whole team gets a hot hand, it's a much different phenomenon....

If You Bet On The Patriots, You're A Huge Dick
Dude loses Super Bowl XLII bet, gets 6-inch penis wearing Giants helmet tattooed on his thigh. Or maybe he asked a genie for a "giant penis," and it was one of those Monkey's Paw-type ironies. [Barstool Sports] [Mildly NSFW photo inside]...

A Very Painful Own Goal
From the lower levels of Irish soccer comes the double-whammy: an own-goal, and the braining of a teammate....

Joe Morgan Was Our Hans Gruber
Emma Span wishes a fond farewell to Joe Morgan, the archvillain who made "it so much fun to play the righteous underdog." (How do you think we got Die Hard?) [Bronx Banter]...

SportsCenter Attempts To Standardize American Spelling
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Everyone In Turkey Seems To Already Know The Allen Iverson Chant
Allen Iverson went to see Besiktas FC's Turkish League soccer match against Kasimpasa on Monday evening, and as he shook hands with old Turkish men, some 32,000 fans serenaded him in unison. Was it ever like this in Philly?...

A Sensible Man In Gainesville Wants Restraining Orders Against Tebow, Obama, And Jesus
John D. Gilliand of Gainesville, Florida, filed three petitions for injunction for protection against repeat violence last week — against everyone’s favorite Messiah Tim Tebow, President Barack Obama, and, to complete this holy trinity, Jesus....

Duke Administration Cancels Tailgating After Minor Is Found Passed Out In Port-A-Potty
A visiting teenager was found unconscious in a portable toilet after tailgating celebrations for Duke's win over Virginia on Saturday. The university will now brainstorm different gatherings that reflect "the class and spirit for which Duke is known." Right....

Next Time Cowboys Fire A Coach Mid-Season, They Will Likely Check Domain Name
Because someone failed to re-register the domain name, the Dallas Cowboys website disappeared from the interwebs on a big day for Cowboys-related news, and site visitors instead saw a screen like this. The marketing office must be in between interns....

Finally, Deadspin The Subject Of A Master's Thesis
What we do here, it's many things. Intellectually rewarding? Not what usually springs to mind. But this humble website played a rather large part in the Master's Thesis of a recent LSU graduate. Let's explore the world of academia....

Nick Collins Is Sorry Your Sissy Receivers Keep Getting Concussions
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Nick Collins doesn't know how to stop leading with his head....

Miracle At The Meadowlands Redux, The High School Version
All this quarterback has to do is kneel down to send a tie game to overtime. Instead he scampers about the backfield and inexplicably stops, allowing the ball to be stripped and run back for the gamewinner....

Derek Jeter Is A Gold Glover, Somehow (UPDATE)
There are no words. It's as if Joe Morgan left a giant turd on the carpet on his way out the door. [HardballTalk]...

Basketball Foul Is Skull-Stompingly Flagrant
ASU product Mike Batiste is a superstar in Euroleague hoops, but he kind of lost his cool the other night. Worry not: his coach made him go apologize....

Set Your Sights High, Wizards Fans
Owner Ted Leonsis: "Had we won a close game at home on Saturday, we would be playing on Wednesday for a .500 record...A 2-3 record would qualify for the playoffs if they started today." Dream the impossible dream, Washington. [Ted's Take]...

Here's A Man Who Shat Himself At The Florida Ironman Last Weekend
After the jump, prepare to look at this physical specimen as he stands in awe of his accomplishment, even though he has a pound of shit splattered all over his leg. What's that pungent smell, you ask? Personal victory....