ea Page 737 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heartbreaking: Dan Snyder Won't Buy This Man A Spoon
In what is absolutely not a metaphor for Jay Gruden’s coaching and [gestures vaguely at Washington’s routine ascendance to new frontiers of dysfunction], the Monday Night Football broadcast caught a team employee on Washington’s sideline stirring a cooler full of Gatorade with what appears to be a p...
You Will Never Unsee Morgan Moses's Hasty Right Leg
I do not advise tuning in for the Monday night matchup between Washington and the Bears for any reason. Those deranged enough to watch this horror show have seen the Bears pound the bejeezus out of the home team in every phase, starting with a first-quarter pick-six to open the scoring. The especia...
The Premier League Is Finally As "Bad" As La Liga
It’s more than a little ironic that the definitive proof that the Premier League truly is as comprehensively and inarguably supreme as its fanboys have long contended it to be has come in the exact form many of those same fanboys shitted on Spain for back when La Liga was top dog....
The Man Who Would Kill Horse Racing
In a garden-variety suburb outside Albany—a recent July morning, but it could have been any morning—Patrick Battuello woke up at five, brewed a cup of coffee, and then sat at his computer to review the previous day’s horse races. He’s done this every day for the last six years. This was a Monday, an...
Look At This Butt Goal
Own goals usually leave defenders red-faced, but the cheeks of Sparta Prague defender Michal Sáček’s ass were most likely the redder after his butt scored an own goal in Sunday’s match against Slavia Prague:...
Hero At Scene Of Philadelphia Fire Drops Burn On Nelson Agholor
Three people were hospitalized and 10 people were displaced by an overnight fire at an apartment building in West Philadelphia. But the reason you’re reading about this particular local news report on this here sports website is because a man who came upon the scene and literally began catching chil...
Bruce Arians Has Some Strange Ideas About How To Make A Kick Easier
Giants at Bucs was a coming-out party for one Mr. Daniel Dimes, but it wouldn’t have been a win for New York if not for Buccaneers rookie kicker Matt Gay missing a 34-yard field goal attempt just barely to the right as time expired. And it wouldn’t have been 34 yards if the Bucs hadn’t intentionally...
Keanu Neal Penalized For Unsportsmanlike Conduct After Throwing Helmet In Injury-Related Frustration
Falcons safety Keanu Neal suffered a pretty bad injury to his leg just before halftime against the Colts on Saturday. That much became clear when he threw his helmet in frustration and was crying by the time the training staff got to him. While the pain certainly played a part in his emotional state...
Lions' No. 35 Unmasks Eagles' No. 26, Reveals Him To Be Miles Sanders
None of us can ever know the true identities of those who play in the NFL. Shrouded in armor—with helmets covering most of their faces, and jerseys that reveal merely half of their true names—American football players work in the shadows, anonymous to all but their closest friends and family members...
Allen Hurns Out With Concussion After Colliding Hard With Jeff Heath
Early in the first quarter of Cowboys-Dolphins, Miami quarterback Josh Rosen tried to find receiver Allen Hurns and threw a pass towards the middle of the field. Also tracking the ball was Dallas safety Jeff Heath, who collided hard with Hurns as he was going for the interception. Since neither play...
Ole Miss Loses To Refs, Clock, Cal
In his first time seeing playing action, Ole Miss backup quarterback John Rhys Plumlee led a pretty fabulous-looking comeback down the stretch against Cal Saturday afternoon. Alas, it wasn’t enough....
Morgan State Running Back Leaves Field In Ambulance After Ugly Collision
In the third quarter of Morgan State’s game against Army, Bears sophomore running back Demerius Goodwin caught a short pass before colliding with Army defender Cam Jones. The play, scary to watch, looks like grounds for an offensive targeting call—as the broadcast team points out, Goodwin seems to l...
Hot Mic At Ole Miss-Cal Picks Up Fan Yelling "Fuck You, Communist Motherfucker"
I’m not sure what’s better here: the profane exclamation, or the fact that it seems like the play-by-play broadcaster stopped what he was saying to give the fan some space to get his point across....
Rutgers Center, Not Used To His Team Scoring, Punches Quarterback In Celebration
Early in Saturday’s game against Boston College, Rutgers quarterback Artur Sitowski connected with wide open running back Raheem Blackshear, who took off for a 74-yard touchdown and got the Scarlet Knights tied up 7-7....
Nutty Blackmail Plot Involves "Well-Known" Premier League Player Jumping Out Hotel Window Mid-Booty Call
When one Premier League player, whose name is being protected by the authorities, walked into Natalie Wood’s hotel room last year and began to undress, he must’ve believed he was only in for another night of fun and sex with the woman for whom he’d been cheating on his partner. Instead, before the p...
The Clippers Showed Kawhi Leonard A List Of Guys, Then Kawhi Looked At The Guys, And Picked Paul George
After the Clippers pulled off this NBA offseason’s most startling move by signing Kawhi Leonard and acquiring Paul George, it was tempting to view Leonard as some devious, silent puppet master....
PR Genius Tony Wyllie Takes His Talents Away From Dan Snyder
Sports radio station WJFK in D.C. reported today that Tony Wyllie has quit as Dan Snyder’s communications director to take a job with the Special Olympics. If any good PR came Snyder’s way during Wyllie’s nine-year run with Washington’s NFL team, it doesn’t come to mind. As for the gaffes on Wyllie’...
The Good NFL Quarterbacks Are Falling Apart
Even leaving aside the headaches and nausea that are specific to the fans of the Jets and Giants, and the flu-like symptoms that universally apply to all AFC South games, watching the NFL does something to a person. You may sit down in front of a game as a normal human—again, not applicable to Jets ...
Whatever Happened To The <i>Other</i> Wall Street Millionaire Accused Of Sexual Assault?
Since 2017, eight women have gone to civil court and said they were sexually assaulted by the Wall Street financier Howard Rubin. One woman has since dropped her claim, but seven remain—six are suing as plaintiffs in one lawsuit in federal court, while another woman is suing on her own in state cour...
There's Nothing More Predictable Than Mike Leach Suddenly Having Dumb Thoughts About Homeless People
College football coaches tend to be graded on a steep and extremely generous curve when it comes to their personalities. How well they do or don’t do their jobs is easy enough to assess, because it creates a binary win/loss record that reflects the sum of the players they recruit and the assistants ...