ea Page 768 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Most Of These Team Names Would've Been Way Better Than "Raptors"
The second-most ’90s thing in professional sports is the Hornets still using teal as a primary color. (And, considering it’s the second edition of that franchise, it can be viewed in a more forgiving throwback/nostalgic light.) The single most ’90s thing in professional sports is, obviously, that th...
The Aliens Are Not Real, And Also They're Total Cowards
Maybe you have seen the news that ... well, what, exactly? Near as I can tell the “news” is that lots and lots of Navy pilots have seen UFOs, but that somehow none of them have recorded anything but grainy, indistinct, Classic Arts Showcase–ass video of blurry dots which we’re meant to believe are t...
Lakers GM Rob Pelinka Apparently Made Up A Bizarre Story About Kobe Bryant And Heath Ledger
I know we already wrote about ESPN’s delightfully detailed account of the Lakers’ deep-seated institutional rot, but this phony story GM Rob Pelinka invented about Kobe Bryant and Heath Ledger is too good not to call specific attention to....
Fresno Grizzlies Are Sorry For Memorial Day Video That Showed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez As Freedom’s Enemy
Between games of a Memorial Day doubleheader, the Fresno Grizzlies displayed a video on the big screen for the holiday. Backed by a selection from Ronald Reagan’s first inaugural address—the parts about freedom and dignity and how America will never surrender, not the parts about shrinking the feder...
Mallex Smith Circled The Bases In The Coolest Of Ways
You can keep your filthy “dingers,” your “dongs,” your “mashed taters,” you damn dirty apes! Corkscrew yourselves into hell for all I care! Give me a ruthless speedster thieving his way around the bases, as the Mariners’ Mallex Smith did to the pathetic Rangers in the bottom of the eighth inning las...
Daniel Vogelbach Hit A Homer So Meaty It Could Feed A Family Of Four
Look at the faces. No, not at the mugs of the guy at the plate or the guy on the mound, although you’ll find expressions of optimism and helplessness, respectively. Look into the stands, and gaze at all the “O”s on those fans’ faces, their expressions turning them into some kind of poorly organized ...
Top Recruit Stiff-Arms The NCAA
High school basketball player R.J. Hampton is the No. 5-ranked prospect on ESPN’s list of 100 recruits from the class of 2019, and this morning we all found out that he will not be playing college basketball next season. Instead, he will be playing in the Australian pro league as a member of the New...
Colorado Attorney Becomes The 11th Person To Die On Mt. Everest In 10 Days
Boulder attorney, Christopher Kulish, added to one of the deadliest climbing seasons in Mt. Everest history, becoming the 11th person to die on the mountain in 10 days. A news release from his brother said Kulish died early Monday morning on his way back down the mountain after reaching the summit e...
Aston Villa Are Returning To The Premier League
Aston Villa have made their way back to the Premier League after defeating Derby County 2-1 at Wembley in the Championship playoff final. The club joins Norwich City and Sheffield United as the three clubs heading to the top flight and replacing Huddersfield Town, Fulham and Cardiff City....
Auburn Radio Voice Rod Bramblett Dies From Injuries Sustained In Car Accident
Rod Bramblett, the prominent voice of Auburn sports for the last 16 years, and his wife Paula died from injuries sustained during a car crash on Saturday. They were 52 and 53 years old, respectively....
The NCAA Graciously Allows Kansas' Silvio De Sousa To Return For Another Unpaid Season Of Basketball
Kansas forward Silvio De Sousa will not have to sit out for a second consecutive season as the NCAA announced Friday that his appeal against the association was approved. The decision came just hours after the Jayhawks officially appealed the NCAA’s two-season suspension on Friday, almost as if the ...
Engineer Unwittingly Trips Balls On LSD From The '60s While Repairing Iconic Synth
Here is a delightful story about psychedelics to ease you into the long weekend. ...
A Good And Smart Preview Of A Wide-Open 2019 WNBA Season
Hockey is almost over, and the NBA is basically done, so now all we have to look forward to over these impending hot summer months is a World Cup, the ability to blast Bad Girls out of our apartment windows, and some goddamn WNBA basketball. That last thing starts tonight, folks! Let’s get to the pr...
Drake Cuts Sweaty Promo About How Raptors Fans Are Really Good At Following The Rules
The Raptors beat the Milwaukee Bucks in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals last night, and Drake, the Raptors’ rowdy uncle/human mascot, was not in the building. He was back home in Toronto, watching the game with thousands of Raptors fans in an outdoor square. He was so excited after the win t...
Colombian Soccer Player Found Dead Days After Family Reported Her Missing
Leidy Asprilla, a 22-year-old soccer player who had represented Colombia in youth international tournaments, was found dead off the side of a road yesterday. Her family reported her missing on Sunday after Asprilla left home to pick up a teammate for a training session but never arrived....
Klay Thompson Remains Remarkably Calm Upon Learning He Lost A Chance At Another $30 Million
The All-NBA teams came out today, and Golden State Warriors guard Klay Thompson isn’t on any of them. While teammates Steph Curry and Kevin Durant made the first and second teams, respectively, Thompson couldn’t even sneak onto the third team. Those honors went to Russell Westbrook and Kemba Walker....
The Europa League Final Is Going To Be A Lowly Attended Disaster
The Europa League final is the debacle that keeps on giving. After Arsenal confirmed that midfielder Henrikh Mkhitaryan would not be playing the final in Baku, Azerbaijan due to his Armenian heritage, reports are coming out that the stadium might be half-empty for what is ostensibly the second bigge...
The Bitter Life Of A Shattered Jockey: A Mostly True Story
The 1973 Philadelphia Sports Writers Association Awards banquet wasn’t lacking for starpower. Flyers legend Bobby Clarke, who became only the ninth player in NHL history to score 100 points with his 104-point 1972-73 campaign, was one of the honorees. So too was Penn State running back and newly-min...
How The Milwaukee Bucks And A Former Wedding DJ Won The T-Shirt Cannon Arms Race
There’s an arms race of sorts now taking place in sports arenas. Hence, the Quad....