ea Page 795 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NBA Fines Anthony Davis For Self-Tampering In Public, Alarming Onlookers<em></em>
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday that the NBA was investigating Pelicans center Anthony Davis for self-tampering in front of God and everyone. Davis expressing (through his agent) the desire to be traded, on and all over the record, scandalized the Pelicans to the point that the team put ou...

Qatar Beat The Hell Out Of UAE And Then Got A Bunch Of Shoes Thrown At Them
The UAE had big hopes this winter. The tiny Middle Eastern nation is hosting this month’s Asian Cup, and national team appeared to be on the brink of something special when they qualified for the semifinals against their hated rivals, Qatar. Then Qatar beat the shit out of them so badly today that t...

Why Your Dumb Team Won't Trade For Anthony Davis
As you surely know by now, New Orleans Pelicans superstar Anthony Davis requested a trade. He wants to leave that derelict organization for one that will give him a chance to contend for championships. The Pelicans can deal him by next Thursday’s trade deadline, or they can wait until the season end...

Report: Anthony Davis Burns With A Desire That Can Only Be Satisfied By Joining The Lakers
After the flaming supernova that is Anthony Davis put in a trade request earlier this week, sending both the New Orleans Pelicans into panic mode and the rest of the NBA into a rabid frenzy, all that was left to discover was how Davis would go about exerting his considerable leverage to land in a pr...

At Least Real Madrid's Lost Season Has Given Us The Rise Of Vinícius
At just 18 years old, in his first season in Europe, Brazilian forward Vinícius Júnior has already carved out a significant role for himself in Real Madrid’s squad. His emergence as a valuable and now arguably a critical component of one of the best teams in the world happened way faster than anyone...

Artemi Panarin Wants Out
The NHL, for reasons cultural and historical, is not like the NBA: You don’t see a lot of outright trade demands. That is to say, you do see trade demands, but they’re couched in language that tries to make them sound like anything but. This, if you’re attuned to it, could not possibly be any blunte...

Grizzlies Explore New Depths Of Misery Via Excruciating Kyle Anderson Meltdown
The Memphis Grizzlies spent the late stages of their Monday night home game against the Nuggets barfing away what had been a 25-point lead. Denver grabbed its first lead of the entire game with under a minute left in the fourth quarter; the teams traded buckets over the following 15 seconds (includi...

Lonzo Ball Would Prefer To Be Traded Where He Can Start Right Away, Just As I Would Prefer To Stalk My Enemies From Atop A Mighty Tyrannosaur
The Lakers are expected to offer some combination of young foundational players to the Pelicans in exchange for Anthony Davis, who requested a trade from New Orleans over the weekend. The most prominent of those young players is one Lonzo Ball, who by this time last year was viewed as the crown jew...

NBA Investigating Anthony Davis Trade Request For Signs Of Self-Tampering
Anthony Davis has requested a trade from the New Orleans Pelicans, a half-assed basketball operation that squandered all but a few hours of his NBA career to date. Adrian Wojnarowski reported it; he had the scoop because Rich Paul, Davis’s agent, told him. Just a few hours later, the Pelicans public...

Golfer Loses $100,000 Thanks To Bullshit Violation Of New Rule
Haotong Li should have finished in a five-way tie for third place at last weekend’s Dubai Desert Classic. It would have been a somewhat disappointing finish given that he came into the final round only one shot off of the leader’s pace, though he still would have left the United Arab Emirates with a...

The Laws Of War Are Still Trying To Solve The Quandary Of Legal Nukes
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Notts County Owner Accidentally Tweets Dong Shot, Announces Intent To Sell Team, Says The Two Are Unrelated
Before this weekend, English businessman Alan Hardy owned both Notts County, a fourth-tier English soccer club, and a penis the vast majority of the world had never seen. After his accidentally revealing tweet on Sunday, both of those facts will need to be revised....

A Brief History Of Dan Snyder’s Superyachts, Which Have Put Him In Elizabeth Warren's Crosshairs
The two greatest days in Dan Snyder’s life are the day he buys a boat, and the day he buys a bigger boat....

"Ninja Headbands" Are Taking Over The NBA And I Am Here For It
Traditional headbands are gross and lame. It’s a minimal loop of terrycloth designed specifically just to keep a disgusting bodily fluid from dripping into your eyes, so honestly it’s a wonder that something so guaranteed to be completely radioactive at the end of games ever gained even a modicum of...

Report: Anthony Davis Requests Trade Out Of New Orleans
Anthony Davis has asked the New Orleans Pelicans to trade him “to a team that allows him a chance to win consistently and compete for a championship,” his agent, Rich Paul, told ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski in a report this morning. That trade, if it eventually happens, could be one of the most consequ...

A 50 Percent Free-Throw Shooter Helped Seal Purdue's Upset Over Michigan State With Six Straight Free Throws
After a historically terrible opening half, Michigan State began to look like its No. 6-ranked self in the second half of its game against Purdue on Saturday. The Spartans were down 55-32 with just over 13 minutes in regulation, but went on a 24-5 run to cut the Boilermakers’ lead down to four, 60-5...

Report: Washington Will Be "Pleasantly Surprised" If Alex Smith Is Ready To Play Next Season
Washington is going into its offseason preparations with the expectation that starting quarterback Alex Smith will not be available to play next year, according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport....

Oh Look, An Owner Of An MLB Team Has Brought Up Another Excuse To Not Pay Bryce Harper Or Manny Machado Their Worth
Astros owner Jim Crane was the latest team owner to give his opinion on why stars like Bryce Harper and Manny Machado aren’t receiving the blockbuster contracts many expected them to sign this offseason. At a team event on Friday, Crane, whose net worth is an estimated $2.5 billion, told reporters t...

Curt Schilling Goes On Radio, Melts Down As He Defends Liking And Sharing Memes
In his sixth go-round, former baseball pitcher Curt Schilling received 60.9 percent in the Hall of Fame vote. He’s on pace to get in within his 10 years of eligibility. (Though this blog argues for his induction, I don’t personally care if he does and hope he doesn’t. Why? Because fuck him, that’s w...

NFL Finally Takes Action On Uncalled Hit That Cost The Saints A Super Bowl Trip
By now, you’re probably sick of hearing about Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman’s hit on Saints wideout Tommylee Lewis in the NFC Championship Game, which failed to draw a penalty flag that would have all but clinched the game for New Orleans. Since that play, everyone from current Saints player...