ea Page 796 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Useless Senator From Louisiana Takes To The Floor To Moan About The Saints Game
The U.S. government entered day 35 of its shutdown today. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees have not been paid in over a month, the airline industry is on the brink of total collapse, and the lines outside food banks get longer every day. Meanwhile, Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassid...

Colonel Rob, Legendary Advocate For Sleaze, Is Dead
Robert “Colonel Rob” Schaffner, an L.A. outsider art deity and the guy who got Heavy Metal Parking Lot to whatever masses it got to, is dead....

Spend Exactly None Of Your Time Killing Time
Here’s a good resolution, if you’re the sort of person who resolves to do good and healthy things and then maintains any hope of actually doing them: Resolve to divide your waking hours exactly and only between doing things you should be doing, and doing things you want to be doing....

If You're A Kicker Who Needs A Job You Should Think About Visiting Chicago
The Chicago Bears were double-doinked out of the playoffs by placekicker Cody Parkey, who then made an appearance on Today before anyone really had a chance to start feeling sorry for him. The Bears brass seemed pretty pissed about Parkey going on TV, and now he is officially on the hot seat:...

A Bunch Of People Close To The Saints Desperately Want Roger Goodell To Step In And Screw This Up
Late Thursday afternoon, Benjamin Watson put out an all-too-serious complaint about the blown pass interference/unnecessary roughness call the Saints didn’t get in the NFC Championship matchup against the Rams. In a screenshot posted on Twitter, Watson called on commissioner Roger Goodell to step i...

Deadspin Up All Night: A River That Rolls
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

<i>Sports Illustrated'</i>s New Business Idea: Streaming Replays Of Liverpool Matches
While most subscription streaming services are competing to snap up rights to live programming in an effort to attract paying viewers, Sports Illustrated, a publication that simply can’t compete with broadcast giants like ESPN or NBC Sports, has bought the rights to show replays of Liverpool matches...

Some Peon Tries To Hurt Neymar, Gets Humiliated By Neymar
About an hour into Paris Saint-Germain’s Coupe de France match against Strasbourg yesterday, Neymar was clowning on his inferiors with his imperial dribbling skills, as is his wont. Strasbourg midfielder Moataz Zemzemi must’ve taken Neymar’s casual demonstration of superiority personally, because he...

The NWSL's Worst Club Is Losing Top Draft Picks Because Of Garbage Management
Last season, the NWSL’s Sky Blue FC limped its way to a 1-17-6 record, landing at the bottom of the league table with a whopping -31 goal difference. Despite having USWNT star Carli Lloyd, the 2018 Sky Blue season was the worst in league history: nine total points, “beating” the previous record of 1...

Barcelona Signed Frenkie De Jong And Now Must Figure Out Who They Want Him To Be
It is glaringly obvious that Dutch midfielder Frenkie de Jong is one of the most exciting prospects in world soccer today. While I and most others writing about him now, after the hotly contested courtship that involved pretty much all the game’s biggest clubs finally came to a close when Barcelona ...

Young USMNT Hotshot Timothy Weah Just Got To Celtic And He's Already Scoring With Ease
Timothy Weah—18-year-old attacking dynamo for the USMNT and Paris Saint-Germain—recently arrived in Glasgow for a half-season loan with Celtic after a few months spent on the fringes of one of the biggest clubs in the world. Earlier this year, he talked about wanting to spend the first half of the y...

Trade Marc Gasol To The Lakers
The Memphis Grizzlies are swan-diving at a high rate of speed to the bottom of the West, and according to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski they’re finally ready to see about trading away the two aging faces of the franchise, guard Mike Conley and center Marc Gasol. The team would likely need to get a lot b...

Landon Donovan Can’t Stop Playing Soccer
Landon Donovan’s latest attempt to retire from soccer is apparently over. Sports Illustrated’s Grant Wahl reports that Donovan will join the San Diego Sockers of the Major Arena Soccer League....

Wow: Sean McVay Was At One Point Even Younger Than He Currently Is
This dude looks like a fuckin’ baby with a woeful haircut! Incredible!...

Aboubakar Kamara Arrested As Fulham Descends Into Full-On Reality Show
The drama that’s been surrounding likely relegation-bound Fulham keeps getting juicier, as an argument over a missed penalty kick that happened nearly a month ago has since spiraled into an arrest. On Monday, striker Aboubakar Kamara was reportedly arrested on suspicion of actual bodily harm and cri...

The <i>New York Times</i> Can't Bring Itself To Hold The USOC Accountable
In my time as a journalist, stories about child abuse have always been the one genre that everyone, even internet commenters, agree are bad. But preventing child abuse—which costs money and takes long-term dedication of resources—who has time for that? ...

Sharks Buzzer Beater Helps Net Them A Crazy Win Against The Capitals
The San Jose Sharks and Washington Capitals both decided not to play defense on Tuesday night, and we were all better off for it, as their game ended in a thrilling 7-6 overtime Sharks victory. It was this close, however, to being a 6-5 Caps win on the strength of an Alex Ovechkin hat trick, until t...

Tottenham, Who Were Already In Trouble, Now Look Absolutely Screwed
By almost any measure, Tottenham’s season so far has been a major success. Sitting at third place in the Premier League table behind two juggernauts in Man City and Liverpool, Spurs hold a reasonably solid four-point lead over Chelsea in fourth, and they’re seven points up on Arsenal and Manchester ...

Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking "Broken English" When Arrested For Public Intoxication
We learned a couple weeks ago that Old Man Wayne Rooney got popped with a public intoxication charge at Dulles International Airport in December. What we didn’t know then was what exactly it was about the twisted-off-his-ass Rooney that attracted the cops’ attention. We do know now. And it involves ...

Cardiff City's Emiliano Sala Presumed Dead After His Plane Disappeared Near France
Cardiff City’s new striker Emiliano Sala is presumed dead after the plane he was on disappeared over the English Channel while on its way from France to Wales on Monday....