ea Page 806 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here Are Some Of The Interesting And Horrifying Revelations From The Larry Nassar Report

Yesterday, Ropes & Gray, the law firm commissioned by the USOC to investigate the various institutional and individual failures that enabled Larry Nassar to abuse hundreds of gymnasts for decades, issued a report on their findings . The biggest revelation—that Alan Ashley, chief of sports performanc...

World-Famous Atlanta Strip Club Welcomes In A Little-Known Soccer Trophy For Some Booty Dancing

Millions of young boys around the world dream of one day making it inside Magic City, Atlanta’s internationally renowned strip club. Very few of those dreamers imagine it will be success in America’s bootleg soccer competition that will bring them there, but, for dreams, ends matter more than means....

Napoleon The Racing Corgi Crushes All Challengers, Is A Very Good Boy 

Here is a true thing: Even the fastest corgi still looks like an absurd tubelike dog-snake hybrid. The Seattle Seahawks attempted to prove this with the 2018 Corgi Cup, which was held during halftime of Monday’s game. There were so many bread-shaped contenders that they had to hold two heats....

Ousmane Dembélé Clowns Two Tottenham Defenders And Dunks The Ball Into The Net

Ousmane Dembélé just gave Barcelona the lead against Tottenham in the Champions League by flying past defender Kyle Walker-Peters with an absolutely insulting big touch and then sitting midfielder Harry Winks on his ass with his trademark fake shot before slamming the ball past goalkeeper Hugo Llori...

Joel Embiid, Who Has A Migraine And Diarrhea: “I Have A Migraine<em></em> And Diarrhea”

Joel Embiid is dealing with a few ailments....

Can Seattle's NHL Team Recapture Vegas's Magic?

Seattle was officially awarded the 32nd NHL franchise last week, the culmination of a years-long process that absolutely everyone knew was leading to exactly this outcome. The announcement came one year to the day after Seattle voted to upgrade KeyArena, at which point the NHL’s decision became a me...

Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks

Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...

Ass Team Of The Week: Washington Sucked Down A Doo-Doo Milkshake On Purpose

Not so long ago Washington was a boring football team that nevertheless appeared destined to play in precisely one playoff game, which all Americans could feel comfortable skipping. On Sunday, though, they found themselves down 40-0 to the Giants, a very bad team that was also playing without Odell ...

The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird

It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....

Bulls Rudely Mocked For Jim Boylen's Practice Schedule Following Another Ugly Loss

Fresh off an air-clearing series of meetings having to do with interim head coach Jim Boylen being an overbearing dickweed, the lowly Bulls took the floor Monday night looking to reverse course after a historic beatdown. Their opponent, the Kings, is another team that was supposed to spend this seas...

Russell Wilson, What, And Why, And What

The Seahawks went into halftime of their Monday Night Football clash against the Vikings* holding a 3–0 lead. It wasn’t a real pretty half of football. Kirk Cousins and Russell Wilson combined for 71 yards of passing on 20 attempts, and the teams put together exactly two drives of anything that cou...

Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper

The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...

Ropes & Gray Nassar Investigation Paints Damning Picture Of USOC And USA Gymnastics [Update]

On Monday, the law firm Ropes & Gray released its 252-page report into the institutional failures that enabled Larry Nassar’s decades-long abuse of women and girls in his role of USA Gymnastics physician. The investigation, which was commissioned by the board of the USOC in February 2018—more than a...

It Only Took Four Bears To Make Jared Goff Look Like A Chump

Jared Goff had maybe the worst game of his career on Sunday night against the Bears, putting up just 180 passing yards on 44 attempts and tossing three non–Hail Mary interceptions and zero touchdowns in L.A.’s 15-6 loss. For a Rams team that had scored at least 29 points in each of its past six game...

The Bucs Had A Punt Blocked By A QB Named Taysom

Taysom Hill plays more than you’d expect from a backup to Drew Brees’s backup. Saints head coach Sean Payton uses Hill as a change-of-pace QB, usually to run the read-option, and he’s logged at least seven offensive snaps in every Saints game this year. Hill had more run earlier in the season when h...

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Chelsea Ban Four Fans In Conjunction With Alleged Racist Abuse Of Raheem Sterling

While local police investigate an incident during Saturday’s Chelsea-Manchester City match during which a Chelsea fan was caught on camera allegedly yelling racist shit at Raheem Sterling, Chelsea have identified four fans suspected of being involved and have banned them from attending matches while...

The Bears' Trick Play Was A Work Of Beefy Genius

Last night’s game between the Rams and Bears, a 15-6 victory for Chicago, has everyone talking about the power of the Bears’ defense. And with good reason! When you go out there and throttle one of the best offenses in the league in the middle of a high-scoring era like this one, you deserve to be t...

Cristiano Ronaldo Is Glad He No Longer Plays With Selfish Assholes Like Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo obviously loves himself some Cristiano Ronaldo. But you know who Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t love? Teammates who act like Cristiano Ronaldo....

Buzzkill Cowboys Get In The Way Of Eagles' Group Touchdown Celebration

In a game that will likely be used to begin sleep studies for decades to come, the Eagles waited until the second half to score their first points of the day. Carson Wentz connected with Alshon Jeffery for a two-yard touchdown throw just one play after Philly’s defense picked off Dak Prescott on the...