el Page 2436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stomach Stapling Browns Fans. There Is No God
OK, we know SI's Peter King is losing weight like mad and everything, so it's obviously on its mind. He still has a pretty amazing scoop in MMQB today:...
Leftovers: Gates Back, Not Back, We're Confused
· Chargers tight end Antonio Gates signs contract but suspended for first game. Fantasy owners tiptoe toward ledge. [San Diego Union-Tribune] · Felix Potvin will not play in Russia. Neither will Antonio Gates, actually. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] · Browns trade receiver to Patriots, guaranteeing immed...
Mark Cuban Burns Himself At The Stake
When Mark Cuban isn't mad about The New York Times, he's moonlighting as owner of the Dallas Mavericks. With everything else that Cuban babbles about, we forget that sometimes. He had to release longtime Maverick Michael Finley this week, and he's all broken up about it. But even more so, he's all...
The Day Of Rumor Reckoning
Well, today's the day. The Interweb has been all abuzz with rumors for days now that Roger Clemens/Johnny Damon/Gary Sheffield were about to be squashed under the steroid hammer of MLB. The Web was so a-twitter about everything that even the dinosaur print reporters noticed what was going on. (Dan...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Telling Your Friends Not To Tell You What You Missed On "Six Feet Under" ... · 49ers Lineman Dies. Still confusion about cause. Sean Penn investigating. · Cards' Rolen To Miss Rest Of Season. Manager Tony LaRussa consoles himself by playing with puppies. · Eli Manning's Elbow "...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...
T.O. Mania Continues To Ensue
This little kid, "Jeremy," claims to be Terrell Owens' biggest fan, but one who is saddened by his current exploits. Still, he's selling T-shirts (of course) that say "F.U.T.O. (For You, T.O.)" on his Web site. We love it when Philly fans get all clever and figure out how to use the computer....
Kicker Punches Out Bouncer, Nailed With <em>Felony</em>
It's not every day an NFL kicker is charged with a felony that doesn't involve the date-rape drug, but hey, these are heady times. Chiefs booter Lawrence Tynes was arrested yesterday for breaking the nose of a bouncer in a bar fight. That's impressive, not just because we didn't know kickers knew...
Shapiro Finally Sets ESPN And Viewers Free
It's official: ESPN overlord Mark Shapiro is leaving the network to run Redskins midget Daniel Snyder's bid to take over the Six Flags franchise. (His last day is October 1. Rest assured, you'll be hearing from him — and us — a ton.)...
Royals Chasing History; Go Mighty KC!
Not much could make a man feel worse after attending the funeral for his nephew who was killed in Iraq, but the Kansas City Royals are somehow managing to make manager Buddy Bell's life more miserable. The Royals have lost 18 straight games, just three away from the all-time record. They're off t...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While "Reorganizing Your Sock Drawer," If you Know What We Mean (Which We Don't)... · Phillies tie for wild-card lead. Ryan Howard immediately organizes holdout. · Padres storm to under .500 division lead. The pennant will be a white flag. · Mourning Returns To Heat. Funny; we have a...
Leftovers: Those Dead Twins
· Twins pretty much toast this year. Fans of vanilla baseball cry, everyone else does the wave. [ESPN] · Dorky Northwestern grad handicaps the Big Ten. [Si.com] · Eagles write T.O. a "very strongly worded letter." Take that. [Philly.com]...
A Quiet Crowd
That's not a picture of the newest publicity attempt by the Arizona Cardinals to make their games look better on television. It's actually a photo from the set of the new Mark Wahlberg movie Invincible, about a bartender named Vince Papale who wins a spot on the Philadelphia Eagles. (He caught on...
In Other News, Mel Gibson Will Be Negotiating The Gaza Resettlement
We know this was a few days ago, but we just can't help ourselves: Rush Limbaugh wants to help Eagles combatants Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens get together....
Leftovers: Hey, Where's My Wallet?
· Tiger flat, Mickelson all that. [Bloomberg] · Oh, no you di'n't ... McNabb blasts T.O. [Philly.com] · I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. Someone in this room ... is a thief!: UConn guard arrested. [SI.com] · U.S. finally passes Ethiopia in World Track medal count: Gatlin l...
When Will Raffy Return?
Orioles roid rager — exclusive term! MUST CREDIT DEADSPIN! — Rafael Palmeiro was eligible to return last night but did not play. The Orioles are reportedly considering keeping him out of the lineup until after this weekend's series so he won't be booed by home fans....
Michael Jordan Gets His Beavis On
Gambling legend Michael Jordan is in hot water (get it!) with the Santa Barbara fire department. Jordan is wanted for questioning related to a forest fire last week. A spokesperson says Jordan is not believed to be responsible for the fire but "he would know who is involved."...
Drew And Puppet T.O.
Been watching SportsCenter this morning, and have been greatly enjoying Eagles receiver Terrell Owens' interviews. He's combative, he's amusing, he's strangely lispy. But mostly ... he's being patted on the back by agent Drew Rosenhaus....
Thirteen Minutes Of Mets Terror
The collision between Mets outfielders Carlos Beltran and Mike Cameron left Beltran bruised, Cameron in the hospital and fans pretty much just terrified....
Welcome Back, Raffy!
Well, tonight is the night that Orioles 'roid monster — that's a Deadspin special moniker, by the way; MUST CREDIT DEADSPIN! — Rafael Palmeiro is eligible to return from his 10-day suspension for steroids. Currently, Orioles manager Sam Perlozzo says Palmeiro is not likely to play tonight, and th...