election Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Ben Says Trump Full Of Shit; Did Not Endorse, Will Not Speak At GOP Convention
Ben Roethlisberger is scrambling in the pocket as the Steelers quarterback denies Donald Trump after the Republican candidate claimed he had the Steelers quarterback’s endorsement and planned to have Big Ben speak at the GOP convention....
Donald Trump Plans Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Dana White To Speak On His Behalf At GOP Convention
If Donald Trump gets his way the GOP convention will feature Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, and Dana White speaking on the Republican nominee’s behalf rather than the usual string of politicians....
Donald Trump Caught In Major Fabrication
Human meat sculpture Donald Trump has long embraced his unique brand of reality on Twitter, but the Republican presumptive presidential nominee took it to a major level last night in attempting to express his appreciation for one of his patrons:...
Only You Can Help Saddle This Minor League Baseball Team With A Dumb New Name
The Binghamton Mets, the AA affiliate of the New York Mets, have decided, as we briefly noted earlier today, that it’s time for the ballclub to forge boldly onward into the future and delineate their own identity outside of the influence of the mothership. This is noble and good, because minor leagu...
Getting Angry Makes Almost Everything Worse
Broken news: people these days are angry about lots of stuff. This anger has manifested in varying degrees of badness and goodness, depending on your perspective: the ascent of Donald Trump, Black Lives Matter activism, comments sections anywhere at all....
Get Fucked, John Kasich
What even was John Kasich’s sweaty, affronted, whatever-happened-to-the-responsible-grownups-in-this-party act if not an even more insulting and ahistorical version of “Make America Great Again”? When was the last time the Republican Party had responsible grownups? When it sold a needless, catastrop...
George Will Is A Haughty Dipshit
George Will should have been left unemployed and starving ages ago. Newspapers are dying off and people despise the media more than they have ever despised the media—which is saying a lot—and yet here fucking George Will remains, along with the Noonans and Friedmans and Brookses of the world, gainfu...
A Complete, Jovial Guide To The 2016 Senate Races
With six months and change still to go until November 8, you’ve probably learned more this election cycle than you ever hoped to hear about loony wall-construction-financing schemes, losing unspecified competitions to China, and/or the self-reported approximate dimensions of a certain candidate’s ge...
Rex Ryan Introduces Donald Trump, A Man Who Has Also Failed A Lot In New York, At Rally
Bills head coach Rex Ryan showed up at Donald Trump’s rally Monday in Buffalo; it would be nice to think that the two joined forces by bonding over their important fathers giving them a step up in their careers. In Ryan’s introduction, he expressed admiration for Trump showing the courage to say wha...
Voting Booth Selfies Aren't Legal Everywhere, But They Should Be
Can you snap a poorly lit selfie right there in the booth with your ballot all filled out? Can you do a vote just for the ’Gram? Technically, yes, you can take the picture wherever, but your social-media share might be illegal depending on where you are. Many states ban the practice with laws intend...
NASCAR Invocation Features Prayer To Elect A Republican President
Unapologetic bigot Phil Robertson delivered the invocation before tonight’s NASCAR race in Texas, and it didn’t disappoint—if you were looking forward to the duck call industrialist to pray for “A Jesus man” to be elected president in November....
Clinton: You're Too Broke For A Candidate Who Represents You
Here is a hell of a tweet:...
Did The Media Create Donald Trump? (No.)
So the question of the moment is: Did the media create Donald Trump?...
Let's Teach Ted Cruz Some Charisma
Politicians are in the business of persuasion, so it is always miraculous to see one succeed with an egregiously short supply of charm. It’s like the Hanukkah miracle, a menorah burning for eight days on a meager drop of oil; or, it’s like Ted Cruz conning his way onto the short list for our nation’...
Marco Rubio Will Have To Find Another Bed To Shit
Marco Rubio may very well be the emptiest suit to have campaigned for national office in my lifetime. He makes Paul Ryan look like Benjamin Disraeli....
Donald Trump Praises Missouri's Football Teams In Bizarre Speech
In the past twelve months, the state of Missouri has watched its NFL team depart for Los Angeles while its lone Division I-FBS team nearly went on strike due to racism on campus; they went 5-7 on the season. The two FCS programs? Missouri State’s football team went 1-10, while SEMO went 4-7. Donald ...
Ben Carson's Presidential Campaign Was A Big Success
Hear me, O Americans. If lots of people want to give you lots and lots of money to go stand on stages and just kinda sleepily free-associate whatever pops into your mind in response to prompts from strangers, and want to treat you like a rock star for doing it, and will support you in this behavior ...
Republican Voters Vote For A Very Republican Republican
Back in August, I wrote a post accusing the political media of covering Donald Trump’s presidential candidacy more, and more seriously, than it deserved. “Stop Pretending Donald Trump Is Running For President,” I titled the post. D’oh....