election Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Anthony Weiner's Dong Tipped The FBI Off About New Clinton Emails
The FBI announced this morning that they plan to investigate a new batch of emails from Hillary Clinton, after finding them in “connection with an unrelated case.” That unrelated case? Disgraced horny former congressman Anthony Weiner sending dong shots to a 15-year-old....
Senator Mark Kirk Mocks Tammy Duckworth's Mixed-Race Background During Debate
Rep. Tammy Duckworth is challenging Sen. Mark Kirk for his U.S. Senate seat in Illinois, and the incumbent unleashed an incredible comment about her mixed-race heritage during tonight’s debate in Springfield....
Trump "Speaks" Hindi In Surreal Attempt To Pander To Indian-Americans
Donald Trump mega-donor Shalabh Kumar has posted an ad in which the Trump himself speaks Hindi. In fact, the deflated egg sac emits just a few words before the video cuts ahead, suggesting that he couldn’t muster five words in a row, one of which was his own name. ...
Trump Supporter Wrong
A political reporter for a national news outlet has located a supporter of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign who is factually wrong....
Trump Ally Alex Jones: I'm Not Anti-Semitic, It's Just That The Jews Control Everything
You see, it’s not that Alex Jones—whom Donald Trump has previously called a “nice guy” with an “amazing” reputation—hates the Jews. It’s just that he knows how how devious and money-hungry they really are. And also that they control the Ubers....
Remember When Donald Trump Got Booed For Butchering "Take Me Out To The Ballgame”?<em></em>
The day: July 9, 2000. The place: Wrigley Field. A young, 54-year-old fake billionaire with wild aspirations had been practicing singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” for two full weeks in preparation for his big debut. And as Donald Trump gleefully tore into the mic, an entire stadium began to boo....
Can Donald Trump Grow A Beard? An Investigation
Donald Trump’s sense of self-worth seems to be based entirely on his status as an alpha male. He’s obscenely competitive, feels entitled to women, and is apparently fixated on the size of his dick. One hyper-masculine symbol, however, appears to have eluded Trump his entire life, for Donald Trump ha...
Let's Just Fix The Busted System Instead??
If your nation has a political system that is, by design, unfair for an enormous portion of your population, don’t bend yourself into pretzels trying to accommodate this bad system. Change the system, idiots! ...
Hindus And Trump Rallied Together In A Xenophobic Fever Dream
Grab a plate of good, oily pav bhaji and watch a well-loved Indian movie star perform for thousands of immigrants. He greets the crowd in Tamil, jokes about jet lag, shimmies, and shimmers in the hallucinogenic stage lighting; the crowd squeezes as close as security will allow. Then watch as presid...
Wikileaks: Clinton Campaign Considered Having Her Make A "Yo Mama" Joke
Here’s a good one from the Clinton email leaks. Before a February campaign event in Birmingham, Al., a Hillary Clinton campaign staffer wrote a “Yo mama” joke into the speech, one which was eventually cut....
Is Eric Trump A Lemonade Thief?
The latest scandal out of Donald Trump’s campaign: Possible lemonade theft. It appears that Eric Trump, one of his five children, put lemonade in a water cup at an In-N-Out burger, which the restaurant frowns upon....
Donald Trump's Donation Ticker Is Actually Just A Sample File On Loop
Take a trip over to DonaldJTrump.com, and you’ll be greeted by the nice, prominent donation ticker you see above. The implication, of course, is that all these people have just added their name to Team Trump—and you should, too! Except that, at least according to the site’s source code, those “donat...
This Was The Only Good Part Of Tonight's Debate
In a brief battle over exactly how much Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin (is it just a lot or more than he loves his own children?), Trump offered the most infantile, absolutely incredible retort of his campaign thus far. Specifically, Trump went with the tried and true, “I know you are, but what a...
Donald Trump Won't Say If He’ll Accept The Results Of The Election If He Loses<em></em>
Barring some monumental fuckup on the part of the Clinton campaign, Donald Trump will not be the next president of the United States. Over the past few months, he has repeatedly fed the notion that if he loses, it will be because of voter fraud or other illegal electoral malfeasance, not because of ...
Donald Trump On Sexual Assault Accusations: "I Don’t Know Those People"<em></em>
About two-thirds of the way into tonight’s debate, Chris Wallace finally brought up the many sexual assault allegations against Donald Trump that have been cropping up over the past week. Trump’s response: What women?...
Liveblogging The Last Presidential Debate Please God<em></em>
Twenty-six debates. After tonight, we will have suffered a total of 26 presidential and primary debates. I truly thought we’d be all be dead by now. ...
Donald Trump Prepares For Tonight's Debate
At this point, it’s common knowledge that Donald Trump isn’t exactly one for studying, but even the Donald has to prepare a little. Which is why now, for the first time ever, we’re giving you an inside look at Trump headquarters as his team readies their candidate for tonight’s debate....
The Election Is Done, By The Way
Here’s how this debate is going to go:...
DNC Apologizes For Illegally Dumping A Bunch Of Poop Down A Storm Drain
A DNC bus was apparently so full of shit this morning that it pulled over in Lawrenceville, Ga. and illegally dumped a bunch of it down a storm drain. Witnesses complained of a “foul smell” and witnessed the bus dumping raw sewage on the Grayson Highway this morning between campaign stops. It was ba...