etc Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Petco Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Petco Park....

Breaking: Joe Morgan Tells The Truth!
America's baseball uncle was tellin' tales again last night — something about a long slump and a home run he hit off Nolan Ryan — and for once, his story is supported by those ever-pesky computer numbers. [MLB Insights]...

Joe Morgan Clarifies One Fib, Possibly Tells Another
As you know, Joe Morgan, the human sic, told a bit of a stretcher during last Sunday's broadcast. Yesterday, he clarified the matter in a way only Joe Morgan could. By maybe lying again....

It Wasn't So, Joe
Top of the eighth. Cliff Lee has just given up his first hit of the game to the Cardinals, a double to right. Up in the booth, Joe Morgan decides to tell a story. You know where this is going....

Enjoy Your Lettuce Wraps, Courtesy Of Briny Baird
The golfer hit a 230-yard, 34-story-high shot into Petco Park and won all of America free lettuce wraps from P.F. Chang's. Nice try, China—I'm not falling for that again. [SteadyBurn; Devil Ball Golf]...

More Bad News For Lenny Dykstra
"Nails On The Numbers" has been eliminated from The Street.com. [Daily Options Report]...

Who Knew Wrestling Could Be So Violent?
Iowa won the Division I wrestling championship yesterday, but not without a little drama, a little disappointment, and a little controversy. Oh, and a porn star....

Who's Up For Condom Shopping With Anna Kournikova?
No, no — it's not what you think. She's training to be a Haitian drug mule....

College Budget Cuts Imperil Squash Programs, And, Um, Possibly Football
It's a sign of the times that no one is discussing: Your favorite college sports may fall be the wayside in the coming three years due to the crappy economy. Ah! Not Badminton!...

London Fletcher Has A Few Things To Get Off Of His Chest
Most people who watch professional football might recognize London Fletcher if they saw him....

The French Get A Real Kick Out Of Stretcher Mishaps
There's something about the game of soccer that lends itself to stretcher mishaps; lucky for us. And when it happens in France, where the medics dress as if they're expecting a hotel fire, all the more hilarious. At any rate, add the above video to my collection, which is chronicled below....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that HBO is rerunning Deadwood episodes, so time is at a premium ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Peter Quillin vs. Antwun Echols, at New York (10 p.m. ET, same-day tape). Don't tell me who won! (Claps hands over ears). [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees (7 p.m....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message board this morning for its wittiest, hardest-hitting, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

It's Scary Down There In Baton Rouge
Last weekend, the genius that is Orson Swindle at Every Day Should Be Saturday attended the Florida-LSU game in Baton Rouge. We've never been to an SEC football game, but, man, do we want to now. We've never heard a better description of the madness of college football Saturday in the South than thi...

Mourn The Mets
Before we commence burying the Mets' and their historic collapse, let's take a moment and congratulate the Phillies, who had to earn their way here. (Daulerio was at the game in Philly yesterday and we're pretty sure Victorino got him with that water hose.) The Phillies will be incredibly fun to wat...

Get Your Filthy Piece Of Clothing Here
At 5 p.m. ET today, Matt Murphy, that guy in the Mets jersey who caught Barry Bonds' 756th home run, is going to announce whether or not he's going to sell the ball. Forgive us, but by the looks of an eBay page he just set up, we think we have a pretty good idea of what he's going to do. (We kid, by...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another typical commute on the Poplar Street Bridge ... • MLB: Mets at Padres. Maine vs. Maddux! Get it on! [Channel 4 Padres] • Cycling: Tour de France. Which object will collide with the bikes this time? [Versus] • MLB: Tigers at Twins. Unless it's Twins at Tigers. [ESPN]...

Lefty Loses The Scottish Open In Style
I don't follow golf. Never have, only will when I'm older and need a good way to hide from my goddamn wife and kids who won't stop bugging me to take them to the fucking movie theatre to see some shitty ass flick that probably stars Hillary Duff....

Hog Kid Gets Swiftboated ... We Suppose It Was Inevitable
The legend of Hogzilla II ... was it all a hoax? Did 11-year-old Jamison Stone really down a 1,000-pound feral pig in the Alabama woods, or was he home watching The Andy Griffith Show that day? As a couple of commenters pointed out yesterday, the size of said pig may have been via Photoshop. And in ...