ew Page 2905 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Bitches Get Isiah Again
Isiah Thomas, just can't catch a break, you know? It's now official: The jury has found against Isiah and the Knicks in the sexual harassment suit....

Pity Poor John Bowie
As the Patriots cruised to yet another easy victory last night, with three more Tom Brady touchdowns and two more Randy Moss touchdowns, we take a look at the sad sack that is John Bowie....

Will The Patriots Score 38 Again?
This could be the last stand for the Bengals, early on anyway, and they're playing the absolute worst team you could play right now if you needed to make a last stand. Unfortunately, everyone's just going to talk about that CameraGate situation all night. Again....

Looks Like Isiah's Season Is Starting With A Loss
The jury in the Anucha Browne Sanders vs. Isiah Thomas and the Knicks' case hasn't delivered an official verdict yet, but it looks bad for the Knicks: Very bad....

Where My Team Stands: New York Yankees
If we've learned anything about Octobers the last few years, it's that the month tests, stretches and hones every aspect of loyalty fandom....

Mourn The Mets
Before we commence burying the Mets' and their historic collapse, let's take a moment and congratulate the Phillies, who had to earn their way here. (Daulerio was at the game in Philly yesterday and we're pretty sure Victorino got him with that water hose.) The Phillies will be incredibly fun to wat...

Phillies Just Sank Mets' Jengajam
As most of you have already seen, Tom Glavine's outing today didn't last too long — maybe he was double parked? — as the Florida Marlins lit up Mr. 300 with seven runs in the first inning en-route to an 8-1 win. With that, they needed Philadelphia to lose and force a tie. They've been counting on Ph...

If There Is An Allah, He'll Permit A Four-Way Tie
Whenever I see a baseball fight late in the season, I picture Colin Mochrie in front of a green screen trying to figure out what's going on, saying "Well, it all started over a bowl of soup! And now ... look at it!"...

The Best Place To Enjoy The NL's Big Weekend? Buffalo!
• That ESPN Town Hall Meeting did not go well. • Weed! • This is not a good way to impress Jim Tressel. • Nobody is better at Photoshop than Russian topless dancers. • Brett Favre, champion of jorts. • The Isiah Thomas Case is almost over. Sad. • Erin Andrews is a diligent interviewer. • "Rememberin...

Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....

Kiheimahanaomauiakeo Kiheimahanaomauiakeo
This young man is Bronson Sardinha, a September callup by the Yankees and a native of Hawaii. You can tell he's from Hawaii, because he has the strangest middle name we've ever heard from a Major League Baseball player....

Your NHL Eastern Conference Preview
As you know, we make no pretense at being experts in the world of hockey. (Or anything, really.) Because the season is starting, like, this weekend, we've asked Eric McErlain, of Off Wing Opinion, to preview the upcoming season for us. We don't know anyone who knows hockey better than he does, so h...

Two NL East Ballparks, Exactly Opposite
We were at Shea Stadium last night, wearing our Rick Ankiel jersey, of course, and we noted that we were 100 percent unmolested. We chalk this up partly to the fact that Mets fans are about 60 times nicer to visiting fans than Yankees fans, but mostly, Shea Stadium was a morgue last night. The Cardi...

Congratulations, New York Yankees (Kind Of)
We're not sure what we can add to this photo. It's all yours. But we are curious: Wasn't it a little weird to see the Yankees celebrating so manically?...

The Mets Don't Much Care Anymore
We're going to be at Shea Stadium tonight to see our Cardinals one last time, but the real drama will be with the Mets, who are imploding in a rather dramatic way....

Drew's Guide To The Proper NFL Viewing Position
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Hug It Out, Yankees; You're In The Playoffs
OK, who looked more lifelike: Castro in his latest speech; bin Laden in his last taped address; or George Steinbrenner during Wednesday's Yankees game? They dusted off the long-dead owner, propped him up in a luxury box and had him "watch" New York clinch a playoff berth on Wednesday, the Yankees be...

Our Pick For The Worst Football Coach
We've already made fun of Norv Turned today, but, you know, at least he has shown some aptitude as an offensive coordinator in several different locals. If he weren't coaching the Chargers right now, we might not even be thinking about him — even praising him. But there's no excuse for Dave Wannsted...

The Shirt That Never Was
Nothing tickles us pink more than an outdated championship shirt; our favorite is still when Nike had Final Four shirts for every team other than George Mason, the team whose shirts people would actually want....
