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More Like Tour De Butts
Today is a day of many butt cheeks over at the Tour de France:...

Roger Federer Captures Men's Record Eighth Wimbledon Title
Roger Federer finished off a clean Wimbledon with a straight-sets victory over Marin Cilic in today’s men’s Final, winning 6-3, 6-1, 6-4. ...

Get A Load Of The Insane Second Shot Of This Miraculous Par Save
You’re gonna have to trust me on the sequence here, because I can’t find video of the before or after: On the 531-yard par-5 17th hole today at the John Deere Classic, Kelly Kraft badly shanked his drive off the tee. Like, incredibly badly. Here he is lining up his second shot:...

Kombucha Defense Fails To Spare Michael Floyd From Suspension
The NFL announced Friday that Vikings receiver and kombucha enthusiast Michael Floyd has been suspended without pay for the first four games of the 2017 NFL season for violating the league’s substance abuse policy....

Pirates Fan Tosses Cardinals Home Run Ball Into The Goddamn River Where It Belongs
You know where a Jedd Gyorko home run ball belongs?...

White Sox Announcer: "We Have No Budget Left For The Second Half Of The Season"
While discussing how he bribed people to say nice things to color man Steve Stone on his birthday during the top of the first inning of tonight’s tilt against the Seattle Mariners, Chicago White Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti admitted that the team had run out of money for the announcing team to...

Mayweather Drops The Word "Faggot" On McGregor In The Press Tour From Hell
Mercifully, the Mayweather-McGregor Press Extravaganza From Hell is reaching its conclusion this evening, after a week of toxic shit talking and a week of general stupid bullshit. Yesterday’s lowlight was McGregor bragging about how having a big dick made him half-black before humping the air as a t...

Some Bears To Make You Think About The Pals You've Lost Along The Way
These young bears are having a grand time digging round in the ice. Will it be like this forever? You know it can’t....

Two Things Roger Federer Can Do Better Than Anyone Else
It is the year 2017 of Roger Federer, and He is about to play in the Wimbledon final for the 11th time, and He has yet to drop a set. The seven-time champ cut down Tomas Berdych, 7-6(4), 7-6(4), 6-4 to earn that spot, and, along the way, distilled his genius into two tidy vials. If you want to know ...

Asshole Hoaxes Hundreds Of Job Seekers Into Attending Raiders Stadium-Board Meeting
If you lived in Las Vegas and were looking for a construction job, you might have been thrilled to read the flyer below, which promises “JOBS!!! JOBS!!! JOBS!!!” of both the union and non-union variety, to “black men and women” in particular. The flyer declared that if you, the job seeker, showed up...

Track Athlete Blamed "Frequent And Passionate" Kissing For Failed Drug Test
In June, an independent arbitrator cleared U.S. track athlete Gil Roberts of wrongdoing after he tested positive for a banned substance in March, though few details of the case were made public. Now, thankfully, the USADA has released the report in all its glory for our collective enjoyment and know...

Teens Discover The Boston Garden Has Ignored Law For Decades, May Owe State Millions
In 1993, three banks agreed to fund the construction of the Boston Garden. After bitter political quarreling between developers and the city, a deal was eventually struck to build the $160 million facility. At the time, the New York Times wrote:...

Woman Misses Out On $1 Million Prize Thanks To This CFL Penalty
Karen Kuldys of Winnipeg was lucky when she was selected in a local supermarket promotion to be in placed to win $1 million if two kickoffs were returned for touchdowns in last night’s CFL matchup between the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and the Toronto Argonauts. Kuldys was very lucky when the very first ...

Aussie Rules Football Player Gets Dunked On
One of the more thrilling bits of action Australian rules football has to offer is the long-distance, high-flying mark. These sometimes involve one player skying into the air and essentially launching himself off a grounded opponent in order to catch the ball. In a match between St. Kilda and Essend...

Mayweather Vs. McGregor Isn’t Even Pretending To Be Sports Anymore
It came nearly a half hour into his press conference, but Mayweather Promotions CEO Leonard Ellerbe eventually landed on the perfect metaphor. He was asked why anyone should believe Conor McGregor has a chance to beat Floyd Mayweather Jr....

Conor McGregor Says He’s Not Racist Because He’s “Half-Black…From The Belly Button Down”<em></em>
During the third stop of the Mayweather-McGregor Press Extravaganza From Hell in New York City this evening, Conor McGregor got to step to the microphone first tonight, where he spent his time on an unhinged monologue. He addressed the very real allegations that he’s a racist troll with all the subt...

You Don't Have To Pick A Side Between Floyd Mayweather And Conor McGregor<em></em><em></em>
This happens every time. Two athletes agree to duke it out in front of people for millions of dollars and the dilemma ensues: Who is the good guy? Who is the bad guy? Who will I root for? It is a debate as woven into sports as “Who’s your team?” and was easier to navigate back when sportswriters fo...

DraftKings And FanDuel Scuttle Planned Merger
Daily fantasy giants DraftKings and FanDuel have reportedly been planning to merge for almost a year, a move which would have consolidated power such that around 90 percent of the daily fantasy industry would belong to one mega company. The Federal Trade Commission opposed the merger on the grounds ...

Kansas State Lineman Scott Frantz Comes Out As Gay
Kansas State starting left guard Scott Frantz became just the second current openly gay FBS football player Thursday morning, after coming out to ESPN’s Holly Rowe in a recent interview....

Watch Skip Bayless Debate Himself, If You Dare
Second Take host Skip Bayless is perhaps the most unshakeable sports yeller out there, and he’s certainly the clear debate champion among FS1's band of squawking misfits. The future of FS1 is fewer Ken Rosenthal gems and more cantankerous opinion-havers yelling at each other for some reason, and Bay...