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Brazilian Soccer Club Rocked By Locker-Room Double Handjob Video Scandal [NSFW]
Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leake...
Red Sox Fan Accused Of Trying To Frame The Left With Very Lame Anti-Trump Graffiti
A Connecticut man wearing a Red Sox shirt was caught on camera defacing signs at a school playground with anti-Trump graffiti in June—but after being caught, he admitted to police he supported Trump and was trying to make the “Left” look bad....
New York City's Parking Rules Have Turned Me Into A Sociopath
“I’ve never seen you happier,” my wife told me one day last week. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. As I started to do a little dance around our living room, she looked at me with bewilderment. The reason for my burst of happiness? I had parked our car and wouldn’t have to move it for more tha...
Adrian Beltre Humbled By Incredibly Slow Pitch
Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre, whose habit of falling to one knee while batting is second only to his absolute hatred of having his head touched in a ranking of Adrian Beltre quirks, did not expect a 61-mph pitch from Red Sox reliever Fernando Abad in Wednesday’s game. The result was a powerfu...
Runaway Umbrella Interrupts Tour De France
Stage six of the Tour de France is currently taking place, but there was nearly a mishap when a runaway umbrella—or a parasol, if you want to be technical about it since it was a sunny day—flew onto the course. It was blown right through the peloton. Several riders had to swerve to avoid it. Fortuna...
Report: Just Some More Evidence That Dan Gilbert Is Truly, Grossly Cheap
Cleveland Cavaliers owner and predatory lending magnate Dan Gilbert has shown repeatedly that he is nothing if not miserly. It’s been widely rumored and loosely reported for weeks now that his stinginess was to blame for letting the team’s former general manager, David Griffin, walk last month; a ne...
Stray Firework Shoots Into Titans' Stadium, Explodes Some Seats
Tennessee-based company Pyro Shows put on Nashville’s Independence Day fireworks show last night, drawing an estimated crowd of 240,000 and, unfortunately, damaging the upper deck of the Titans’ stadium with an errant shell....
Nick Young Makes Perfect Sense On The Warriors
The most whimsical and doomed NBA teams in recent memory were those Washington Wizards squads between 2008 and 2012 that featured Gilbert Arenas pooping in teammates’s shoes, JaVale McGee fucking up all over the court, and Nick Young pulling up and laying bricks about 20 times a game. Thanks to the ...
Penn State Sues Former Defensive Coordinator For $891,856 Over Breach Of Contract<em></em>
Penn State is suing former defensive coordinator Bob Shoop for $891,856, claiming he breached his contract by not paying the school back after he resigned to take an SEC gig a year ago....
Cowboys LB Damien Wilson Charged With Aggravated Assault With A Deadly Weapon
Dallas Cowboys linebacker Damien Wilson was arrested Tuesday and charged with two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, according to Frisco, Texas police....
DeAngelo Williams Was Pretty Great In His First Pro Wrestling Match
NFL running back DeAngelo Williams made his pro wrestling debut over the weekend at Impact Wrestling’s Slammiversary XV, one of the main PPV events from the promotion formerly known as TNA....
Fabio Aru Can Win The Tour De France
If you took them at their word, Astana’s Tour de France plan was to let Jakob Fuglsang and Fabio Aru serve as co-leaders, helping each other out until someone differentiated himself. Fuglsang just won the Tour’s traditional tune-up race (the Criterium du Dauphine) and Astana had to at least pay lip ...
Little British Lads Flip Their Shit After Meeting Manchester United's Jesse Lingard
It’s the sounds these Mancunian tykes make after running up to Manchester United attacker Jesse Lingard’s car—something between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry and wanting to puke—that makes this video:...
It Sucks To Be The Utah Jazz
A little over eight weeks ago, before the Golden State Warriors summarily swept them out of the second round of the playoffs, you could squint at the Utah Jazz and see the outline of a team that might spend the next five years angling to lose in the conference finals, rather than in the first or sec...
Let's See How Jazz Fans Are Taking The Gordon Hayward Signing
After a few hours of genuine confusion, Gordon Hayward signed with the Boston Celtics last night. This is obviously a tough blow for the Jazz, who won 51 games last season and were looking to cement a place near the top of the Western Conference for years to come, with Hayward leading them. Now they...
Parsley Isn’t Just For Losers
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking menu boards, pets, pubes, ad music, and more....
Superstar Cyclist Peter Sagan Kicked Out Of Tour De France For Role In Harrowing Crash
This morning in Vittel, French champion Arnaud Demare won Stage 4 of the Tour de France from a bunch sprint. It’s the first time a French rider has won a bunch sprint at the Tour since 2006, but Demare’s historic victory was overshadowed by a wild crash that took place right behind him, in which wor...
Women In Wrestling Have Taken A Hard Road To Get To Where They Are Now
Recently, Netflix released the first season of GLOW, a dramedy based on the production of Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, the comedic late ’80s women’s wrestling promotion that was, ever so briefly, a smash hit in syndication. Many reviews have focused on how a gifted, majority-female cast and creativ...
Veteran MLB Umpire Sues Commissioner's Office For Racial Discrimination
Angel Hernandez, a Cuban MLB umpire currently in his 24th year in the league, filed a lawsuit today in federal court saying that the league discriminated against him and other minority umpires on the basis of race....
Report: Fox Sports Head Fired In Sexual Harassment Probe<em></em>
Fox Sports has fired president of national networks Jamie Horowitz, according to Sports Business Journal’s John Ourand. ...