f Page 3218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Wayne Gretzky's Nightmares, He Still Waits For The Goddamn Robot Cauldron To Goddamn Open
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Saints Begin A Losing Battle Against Bandwagon Allegations
The Times-Picayune put out a call for these fans that were joined by Reggie Bush on Sunday. Problem: it's Brody Jenner and his L.A. posse. [NO T-P]...

Blown Threesomes! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

NCAA Waits For Tebow To Leave Before Considering Rule That Would Affect Tebow
They're mulling over a rule that would ban words and designs from eye black. So players will now have to "go away by themself, shut the door behind them, and pray to their Father in private." [AP/Matthew 6:6]...

Because Winning And Staying Out Of Jail Were Getting Boring In Cincy
Troubled receiver Matt Jones will join the Troubled Bengals, who are also working out troubled corner Pacman Jones. And of course, T.O. rumors persist. Someone tell Mike Brown that "Hard Knocks" won't put the same team on twice. [Cincinnati Enquirer]...

The NCAA Cracks Down On Concussions, Hurt Feelings
Rules Committee proposal time! The two most pressing issues facing college football are, in no particular order, kids risking their health and livelihoods by playing with concussions, and losing teams feeling sad....

Godwin's Law Strikes The SI Swimsuit Issue
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Aggravated Assault? Needs More Cowbell
Mississippi State students can rest easy tonight, because police have finally located the man who brutally beat a fellow student at the Egg Bowl with, yes, a cowbell....

Lindsey Vonn Has A Lot Of Nerve Getting Hurt After Being So Sexy
Lindsey Vonn sure is purty, but who does she think she is? Getting everyone all hot and bothered over our Yankee Doodle Dandy and then having the audacity to break her shin before winning any gold medals! What a tease....

Rick Pitino Dismisses Reports He Will Soon Be Doing His Humping On The Floors Of New Jersey Diners
The New York Daily News reported this morning that the priapic Boy Genius had "intermediaries" contact the Nets to express his interest in the team's coaching job. Pitino managed to deny the story without referencing 9/11 once. Good for him....

Big Brother Is Watching You, Serie A
Italian referees can now use instant replay to determine if players used naughty language, and book them appropriately. Meanwhile, Bud Selig is still not sure about this "checking home runs" thing. [Football Italia]...

Rex Ryan's Wardrobe Malfunction
When asking Rex Ryan to change into a Hurricanes jersey, please provide him a changing room. The former Whalers almost provided us with a breast bonanza. [TBL]...

Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....

Today In Euphemizing Flat-Out Calling Johnny Weir Gay: Frank Deford
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

I Was There: Those Aren't Tears, I Swear
Todd C. was at Pat O'Brien's on Bourbon Street and shot some video at game's end that represents the only touching moment in the bar's history that did not involve Rohypnol. He writes in an e-mail:...

Longhorn Girl Arielle Angelovich: A Lesson In Instant Internet Fame
How does one go from anonymous math major to a sought-after interweb celebrity in the span of 40 minutes? All it takes is some fortuitous timing, a bit of fate, and a bright orange t-shirt....

The Saddest Rachel Uchitel Interview In History
Rachel Uchitel, known internationally as "Tiger Woods Mistress #1," is gearing up for a new career as a correspondent for Extra. She gave a bland interview to Mario Lopez, yet spurned my own half-assed attempt at snagging one. On Facebook....

Well, We Found Longhorn Girl
A helpful classmate tipped us off to the young lady's name, and Deadspin Investigative Services sprung into action. There turned out to be quite the paper trail; follow it with us, won't you?...

Execution Day For Portsmouth?
In mere hours, Portsmouth FC will go before a London high court and plead for their continued existence. Wins and losses and even relegation don't seem so important anymore....

How Is The Isiah Thomas Era Working Out For Florida International?
Not well: The Golden Panthers are 7-19 and "have sold a total of 1,075 individual tickets for nine home games." At least freshman Steven Miro—who turned down Columbia and Harvard to play for Thomas (seriously!)—is happy....